Government Acts To Protect Honey-Baked Hams
From Terrorist Vegans
You should feel a whole lot safer. Local departments of homeland security, in this case in DeKalb County Georgia, are taking the lead in protecting das Homeland from terrorist vegans. Want to buy a honey-baked ham and some fixins'? Thanks to alert federal agents, you won't be deterred by vegans conducting a perfectly legal protest! They'll be arrested, detained, and maybe even extraordinarily rendered to camps, where they will be force fed pork rinds and spiral-cut smoked turkey.