The Dear Leader has been roundly and rightly mocked for his "I am the Decider" speech. Here at Agitprop, we've heard something else in his speechifications:
"I understood European concerns over the US detention camp in Cuba." Vienna, Austria, June 21, 2006
"I understand there's a suspicion that we—we're too security-conscience." Washington D.C., April 14, 2005
"I understand everybody in this country doesn't agree with the decisions I've made." presidential debate, Sept. 30, 2004
"I also understand how tender the free enterprise system can be." press conference, Washington, D.C., July 9, 2002
"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002
"Presidents, whether things are good or bad, get the blame. I understand that." Washington, D.C., May 11, 2001
"I understand there's a lot of discussion about labor codicils and environmental codicils." with Vicente Fox, Quebec, Canada, April 21, 2001
"This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases." Seattle Post-Intelligencer, June 23, 2000
"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read—I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do." on abortion, Hardball, MSNBC; May 31, 2000
Now do you understand how totally screwed we are?
This reminds me of when he used to say the very-merde-ful "Some people say..." As in, "Some people say we should have chickens in every pot. I say pots don't know they don't have chickens and why tell 'em?" and "Some people say I'm a bumbling idiot but I believe we have a minor difference of opinion. HEY LADY!"
Posted by: Tata | June 28, 2006 at 08:06 AM
Man, is he some kind of dumb motherfucker or what?
Posted by: The CultureGhost | June 28, 2006 at 08:59 AM
Let's hope he understands before he decides.
Posted by: Comandante Agi | June 28, 2006 at 09:46 AM
He'd have to go up a few IQ points just to make villiage idiot.
Posted by: HelenWheels | June 28, 2006 at 09:52 AM
He says he understands a lot. He also says, "in other words" a lot, which is like he thinks he has to simplify things so we can understand them. Talking down to me does not make me like anyone. He is loathsome.
Posted by: pissed off patricia | June 28, 2006 at 11:14 AM
Question: If he understands so fucking much, why doesn't he fix some of the shit he supposedly understands?
He doesn't understand crap!
Can we impeach him now?
Posted by: gary | June 28, 2006 at 11:26 AM
At least the part of me that believes that the current administration won't try to block future presidential elections has hope.
Yes, the least consipracy-theory-believing section of my brain is waiting patiently until the shrub is no longer president. It will come. It WILL come.
Posted by: OTTami | June 28, 2006 at 12:25 PM
So lemme get this straight:
He understands, but he doesn't
And then he says he's the decider....but....?
Error! Error! Faulty! Faulty!
Posted by: actor212 | June 28, 2006 at 01:54 PM
Seriously, I understand what he means when he says "I understand.":
"I have no fucking clue what you're saying."
I use that all the time to give me room to figure out what the hell is going on.
"say, Carl...did you take the last of the milk?"
"I understand you need milk for your coffee. I understand it's missing. What are you saying?"
"I said, did you take the last of the milk?"
"I understood what you were saying. Why are you saying it to me?"
"Because I saw you pour milk in your coffee."
"I understand how important milk is to coffee. But I understand there was plenty of milk left when I poured mine."
"Then why did you throw the empty carton away?"
"I understand we need a fresh pot of coffee."
See?
Posted by: actor212 | June 28, 2006 at 01:59 PM
Oh God, I feel nauseated as never before.
We are so truly, madly, and deeply fucked it isn't funny. If we don't get Congress back in November, I am going to push the husband hard on this Moving to Europe thing.
They can fucking have him and his understanding ways.
Posted by: litbrit | June 28, 2006 at 03:17 PM
I didn't understand any of what The Decider understands until actor212 clarified it for me with his diaglogue about the milk. That made is as clear as, well, a gallon of milk.
Posted by: DivaJood | June 29, 2006 at 06:39 AM
Understand. You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Posted by: Miss Cellania | June 29, 2006 at 06:39 AM
Preznit Offal Humper understands zilch. He's like a goose who wakes up each day to a totally different world.
Posted by: Plutonious Monk | June 29, 2006 at 06:48 AM
"I understand how risky agriculture can be. It wouldn't be so risky if we could control the weather. That's one of the things we haven't figured out how to do yet. It wouldn't be so risky if we could make it rain all the time. There would be hay to feed the cows. Somehow, that doesn't happen all the time. I know."
-- Remarks to the cattle industry annual convention and trade show, Denver, Colorado, Feb. 8, 2002
more
Posted by: Comandante Agi | June 29, 2006 at 08:06 AM
This reminds me of an episode of two-and-a-half men (i know, shut up) where Charlie Sheen's character explained his use of the words "I understand". His nephew, Jake, had grasped the concept quite well.
http://german.imdb.com/title/tt0735163/quotes
Alan: But you said "I understand"?
Charlie: Alan, there's something you should know about me. When I say I understand, it doesn't mean I agree. It doesn't mean that I understand. It doesn't even mean that I'm listening.
Alan: Then why do you say it?
Charlie: It makes people happy. That's what I'm all about.
Alan: That's all altruistic, but I would prefer that you be straight with me. Just keep in mind that we have an impressionable young boy living here.
Charlie: I understand.
[while watching a movie with his mother Jake is guessing if the actresses breasts are real or not]
Jake: Fake.
Jake: Real.
Jake: Oh, who is she kidding?
Judith: Jake. You shouldn't judge women like that.
Jake: I understand.
Posted by: jen | June 29, 2006 at 09:32 AM
Congrats on another C&L mention. You're one of the best writers in the blogosphere, so it's time for you to come write at my place (rattling your chain per your request). Thanks.
Posted by: Blue Gal | June 29, 2006 at 03:16 PM
I...uh...don't quite get it...I mean...I don't understand him at all.
Posted by: sumo | June 30, 2006 at 12:14 AM
I think in keeping with the constant mangling of the language we should add another "er" on the end. "The Understanderer" is more in line with his actual meager thought processes.
Posted by: fallenmonk | June 30, 2006 at 12:33 PM
I am so glad we have an understanding, deciding compassionate conservative to be proud of.
"That's My Bush!"
Posted by: Alex | July 10, 2006 at 02:56 PM
Hahahaaa! Hey...maybe he meant "understate".
Posted by: GottaLaff | September 18, 2007 at 06:21 PM