Tata here, returning to the B Cave. The B Phone blinked and went all squeally. Mr. blogenfreude mumbled something about gay penguins and the other Tony Perkins as he packed his costume and ran off to save the world. Again. Man, he needs to get a cleaning lady - or Animal Control. Those spare capes should be drycleaned with extreme prejudice.
Speaking of hinky, those sulfurous fumes can only mean one thing: Darth Cheney's emerged from his supersecret Super Villain Hideout to shout, "BOO!" at a bored populace.
Cheney to Congress: Can't run Iraq war by committee
I bet they're still laughing at the Pentagon.
Congressional opposition will not influence President George W. Bush's plans to send more troops to Iraq, Vice President Dick Cheney said Sunday, dismissing any effort to "run a war by committee."
"The president is the commander in chief. He's the one who has to make these tough decisions," Cheney said.
So...Decider is not just a beverage in Egypt?
Cheney's defiant stance comes as both the House and Senate, now controlled by Democrats, prepare to vote on resolutions that oppose additional U.S. troops in Iraq. Cheney said those nonbinding votes would not affect Bush's ability to carry out his policies.
"He's the guy who's got to decide how to use the force and where to deploy the force," Cheney said. "And Congress obviously has to support the effort through the power of the purse. So they've got a role to play, and we certainly recognize that. But you also cannot run a war by committee."
I've got to hand it to Darth. No one has ever made me wonder if the Joint Chiefs of Staff might soothe hurt feelings with a quart of Cherry Garcia now that he's thrown them over for Robert Kagan. Don't worry, Joint Chiefs! Kagan's not prettier than you!
Cheney said Americans need to look at the war in Iraq as part of a much longer effort.
"This is an existential conflict," Cheney said. "It is the kind of conflict that's going to drive our policy and our government for the next 20 or 30 or 40 years. We have to prevail and we have to have the stomach for the fight long term."
Well, thank Vishnu the neocons vanquished the evils of peace and prosperity so we could have a new, unwinnable Cold War. I really missed hiding under my desk in case of nuclear attack.
Any attempts to block Bush's efforts would undermine the troops, Cheney said. He took particular aim at Democratic lawmakers who have blasted the president for increasing troops despite opposition from Congress, military advisers and a disgruntled electorate that in November ousted the Republicans as the majority party on Capitol Hill.
"They have absolutely nothing to offer in its place," Cheney said of Democratic leaders. "I have yet to hear a coherent policy from the Democratic side."
As long as I'm standing here with the Febreze, I'll tell you. I've got a plan: you resign, take your dumb protege and your whole wretched cabal with you and hop the next flight to the Hague, where I'm sure you'll be warmly greeted. Think of it as a preview for what awaits when the stinky old ticker tocks.
Cross your fingers, Mr. b doesn't have to spin the planet backwards. I'd hate having to read that sucky interview again.