Vitter in More Trouble
Senator David Vitter (R-LA) is in worse trouble than we thought. He's a Catholic. He also had "safe sex" with his hooker of choice, Wendy Yow Cortez Ellis.
But wait, you say, Teh Pope says Catholics can't use condoms, or any other form of birth control! You're right.
Unfortunately, this means Vitter must be excommunicated (in addition to getting his penis chopped off by his wife). You can bust him here.
You'd think an organization with as much history of spying and intrigue as the Catholic Church would have an anonymous "tip line" installed.
"Hallo, Benny? Yea, dis is me, uhhhh, Joey Kneecaps...lissen, Ise just saw dat David Vittah...V I T T E R...you know, dat lying weasel from Loose-iana an' he was fookin' some broad who wasn't his wife...AND he was wearin' a condom!"
Posted by: actor212 | September 13, 2007 at 06:57 AM
He won't be excommunicated - not when he's spent that much time on his knees.
Posted by: tata | September 13, 2007 at 07:14 AM
"(in addition to getting his penis chopped off by his wife)." Worse would be to conficate his diapers into which he has deposited many a venial sin.
Posted by: mandt | September 13, 2007 at 01:51 PM
blogenfreude: what's worse - adultery or spermicide? I'd bet Benny would side with the little soldiers.
actor212: well, the pope has an email address - Vitter could try that.
tata: I thought Larry Craig was the one spending time on his knees.
mandt: must wash with holy water!
Posted by: Comandante Agi | September 13, 2007 at 04:37 PM
You'd think an organization with as much history of spying and intrigue as the Catholic Church would have an anonymous "tip line" installed.
Q: Why did Wendy Yow Cortez Ellis quit servicing
leper coloniesCatholics?A: They only left tips!
Posted by: Pope Bandar bin Turtle | September 13, 2007 at 05:36 PM
Nothing's going to happen to him. The Gov of Louisiana is a Dem which means if he were to step down or be forced to resign, the Repugs would be handing his seat to a Democrat.
So Vitter's still got the juice to keep his seat. Now he's a real Republican..
Posted by: PoliShifter | September 14, 2007 at 05:51 AM
Can't he just do some Hail Mary's...wait I don't mean 'do' some hail mary's, I don't even know any hail mary's that would do him...I mean can he do some kind of repentence and be washed clean not unlike we can wash clean a potent and corrosive substance with a bucket of water and a brush?
Posted by: A Bucket of Water | September 14, 2007 at 11:19 AM
I think that he could make a large donation and be right back in or get his pal Larry to service some other people on the down low. wink wink!
Posted by: catherine | September 14, 2007 at 11:36 AM
I still can't imagine why he would cheat on a wife who can unhinge her jaw...
Posted by: actor212 | September 14, 2007 at 04:19 PM