I interrupt your regularly-scheduled blogramming for this brief news update from Orange County, CA:
Corona del Mar resident Blythe Fair has consulted Jehovah's Witnesses, practiced a Japanese form of holistic healing and armed herself with a salad spinner, all in a desperate attempt to evade her arch-nemesis – fluoride.
Concerned that the icon of dental hygiene is actually a menace to public health, Fair is among a small but resolute band of local residents going to great lengths to avoid the extra dose of fluoride added last month to about half of Orange County's water supply.
Here in the OC (don't call it that) we are still battling the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. Silly me, I thought Reagan won the Cold War 'cos he told that bald guy with the raspberry jelly stain on his forehead to tear down that wall. Nevermind.
OC residents have taken extreme measures to combat fluoridation such as taking quick infrequent showers, purchasing home water-purification equipment and sitting in bathtubs for newspaper photographers. Sure, I scoff at the anti-fluoride resistance, but at least they are making the General proud...
Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.