Lots of YouTube research today. George Carlin is irreplaceable, and our species will get dumber faster now that he's gone. I got nuthin' ....
I won't link, but if you want to be disgusted you can Google "Ron Paul George Carlin" and find a video some Paultards put together - they think Carlin's comedy endorsed Ron Paul. George Carlin would have kicked Ron Paul in the balls before beating him senseless with a baseball bat.
Starbucks Corp. plans to drastically reduce the number of stores it builds in the U.S. over the next three years …
Starbucks said Wednesday that this year, it plans to open 1,020 locations in the U.S., down from the 1,175 that it had planned for as of January. But over the next three years, Starbucks plans to cut that number by more than half, opening less than 400 net new locations per year in the U.S.
Pope Benedict XVI touched down in the world's biggest Roman Catholic country yesterday hoping to help reverse a 20-year exodus to Brazil's reborn evangelical churches, but immediately created controversy when he appeared to suggest that legislators who support laws allowing abortions should be excommunicated.
-Man, when do I get to oppress up against some women like that?!
The question tantalizes and terrorizes American Idol viewers: What if Sanjaya wins?...
In the short run, his presence makes for spirited debate, but if Sanjaya Malakar, 17, is standing in the winner's circle, "it would destroy credibility the show's built up in the past five seasons," music consultant Tom Vickers says. "Instead of 30 million viewers a week, it might draw 20 million."
A Sanjaya victory "will ruin the show," says fan Catherine Schloss of Folsom, Calif. "If he wins, I really don't think American Idol will be back."
That's it - a vote for Sanjaya is the only way to jam the system. Then again, a vote for Sanjaya could backfire and actually bring more attention and popularity to an already overhyped teevee show. Oh well, the five seconds of glee I gathered from the article was enough to get me through the rest of the day.
In other news, Pope BennieTheDick asserted that hell "really exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more". Yeah, I was wondering about that hell thing - glad he cleared that up for us. I hope they serve beer there.
Lindsay Lohan - attending rehab for alcohol, drugs and bulimia while indulging in alcohol, drugs and stomach purging on the weekends.
Gavin Newsom - will attend alcohol counseling after admitting to banging his campaign adviser's wife. What an idiot - as if there aren't enough hot, young single women in SF for him to chase.
Paris Hilton - will probably attend rehab to understand why she hates African Americans and homosexuals. One can only hope she experiences some swift aversion therapy. Hell, it worked for Alex de Large.
So, whether you suffer from homophobia, racism or adultery, just blame it on alcohol and admit that rehab is the solution for you! Unfortunately, one has yet to develop a rehab center for war-addicted neocons...
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, in response to Majikthise's claim that Doggie Steps were the worst product ever, we offered up the Bumper Dumper. This morning on Car Talk, both of these worthy candidates were blown out of the water.
Car Talk co-host Ray Magliozzi owns a garage and wondered why they chose lavender and other florals - he would prefer burning oil so that, when his customers came in and complained, he could sell them a rear main seal they didn't need.
Our civilization continues to decline ... rapidly.