Ladies and Gentleman, your 111th Congress:
Before a worldwide television audience, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee of Houston took the stage at Michael Jackson's public memorial on Tuesday and showed her proposed House resolution that would honor the King of Pop in perpetuity - or as the congresswoman put it, "forever and forever and forever and forever and forever."...
Introduced on June 26, the day after Jackson's death, House Resolution 600 lists several charitable acts by the singer over his long career and proclaims him as an American legend, musical icon and world humanitarian.
Ok. Sheila Jackson Lee, you are an idiot.
Of all the reasons in the world for spending legislative time you have chosen to publicly honor an entertainer - and possible pederast, dude.
Is it because Michael Jackson could not achieve sainthood without the official recognition of the glorious, holy writ of law? Must the self-proclaimed "King of Pop" be enshrined in the state religion that is U.S. Law?
But they won't stop there...these high priests of the U.S. Constitution also want to take on the dreaded NCAA, too!
Hatch has made it clear that he’s no fan of the current system, suggesting that it violates federal antitrust provisions designed to prevent anti-competitive business practices.
"I've said before that I don't believe a plainer description of the BCS exists," said Hatch, who was one of the only senators to endure the full hearing. Sens. Herb Kohl (D-Wisc.) and Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) made brief appearances.
Although the issue might strike some as a frivolous congressional pursuit, Hatch also chaired a 2003 meeting on the topic. In addition, President Barack Obama has also chimed in, saying that he prefers a playoff system over the current BCS system.
See...they love those NCAA players so much that they want to force them to play extra games in order to sell beer and talking baby ads to the television networks.
If Congress is going to engage in these tactics then I firmly believe that the great Billy Mays deserves a resolution proclaiming him the greatest infomercial spokesman who ever lived forever and ever and ever in this universe of ours.
I mean, it's only fair.
But wait, there's more!