What Would Jesus Wear? Part 2

Last week I wrote a post about a Christian boutique called Extreme Christian Clothing which sells Jesus themed t-shirts and militant evangelical propaganda. Christian clothing stores are on the rise because true believers won't wear heathen clothes from those atheist department stores.   

We all know that Jesus was an American patriot who supported bigotry, intolerance, tax cuts for the rich, pre-emptive war and authoritarian one-party government. The fancy patriots below are dressed in his stylish image.

But what about the other side? Agitprop would like to examine what the anti-Christ would wear. T-Shirt Hell is an online t-shirt retailer specializing in t-shirts promising to offend almost everyone. For instance, their top selling t-shirts are I Did Not Get Britney Pregnant (I Came on Her Tits), What Would Jesus Do for a Klondike Bar?, and Soldiers Need Hummers, Please Support the Cause. I myself wouldn't wear shirts like that but I recommend you check out their site if you're interest in depraved and indecent smut.

. . . 

Agitprop's Pop Quiz: (winner gets a prize)

Jesus preached in the Beatitudes that thou must exercise a heavy handed aggressive foreign policy. When it comes to today's evildoers, Who Would Jesus Bomb?

A) Iran
B) Syria
C) Venezuela
D) Any country with oil, non-Christians or brown skinned people
E) None of the above stupid! Jesus would invade with heavy infantry divisions, not use the air force.

(Hint: Remember folks we're talking about Republican Jesus, not the real Jewish carpenter)

Comments

[John]

It has to be E, right?

[An Angry Old Broada]

I'm gonna guess the latter one too,but then again,Republican Jesus might go for D in conjunction with E.

On a related note,BlondeSense has a nice little write up on The Rod of God,and it ain't what you're thinking...directly at least.

[The CultureGhost]

"D" - Jesus knew Mericans would love him more than anybody else in the whole world so he gave all the oil to them heathen brown Ayrab peoples so we could convert them to the way of the Merican Jesus.

Or we blow the holy crap out of them with His Blessing.

[C.B.]

I will also have to go with E. In the act of bombing, one might accidentally destroy a oil field.

[Antares]

Well... following the wisdom of Jerry "Kill 'em all in the name of the Lord" Falwell, I'm going to have to go with D

On another note, making clothes out of your nations flag is actually disrespecting it, if I remember my civics classes from my cadet days. There is an established set of protocols and flag ettiquette and I beleive wearing it garishly as clothes is on the no-no.

And after a quck search, I found this from the American Federal flag code, PUBLIC LAW 94 - 344:

j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations

[The Alchemist]

The Alchemist is, somehow on T-shirt Hell's email list. No Idea how as I did not sign up, but I've never unsubscribed either. I would not wear any of their products either, but I vist the sight once in a while.

Insidentaly, how patriotic (nationalistic?) does an item of clothing have to be before it is beyond the pale?

[Daniel Slate]

D.

We don't have enough infantry to keep going around. And we've largely moved our bombing corps to the air, as I remember.....

And besides—everyone knows JesUSA is a whacked out neoliberal racist, anyway...

[John]

It is D, followed by E as soon as we can get the draft going