What Would Jesus Eat?
Agitprop is dedicated to uncovering the modern Jesus. Christians live by the motto "What Would Jesus Do?". President Bush, a devout fundamentalist Christian, has taught us that Jesus would invade countries for oil, torture prisoners, pollute the environment and reward greedy corporations. I previously uncovered the hip fashions of Extreme Christian Clothing when we learned What Would Jesus Wear? That leads me to food. So, what would Jesus eat?
Jesus would eat at my favorite burger chain In N'Out Burger. They started here in Southern California and have expanded into Nevada and Arizona. The company is privately owned by a Christian family and there are no franchises. I actually used to work in the building which housed their corporate headquarters located near UC Irvine. Their offices spanned the entire top floor of the building. The only way one could visit the top floor was with a security clearance. Besides creating fabulous tasting burgers and shakes, they have managed to sneak in some Christian propaganda onto their soda cups and burger wrappers. You may not realize it but if you look closely you'll see the hidden Bible verses.
Sipping your tasty milkshake you should take heed to Proverbs 3:5 which is written on the bottom of the cup: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding".
The hamburger and cheeseburger wrappers warn of Armageddon with a reference to Revelation 3:20. The soda cups feature the kicker of all New Testament Bible quotes, the infamous John 3:16: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. "
Does anyone know why sports fans carry signs reading John 3:16? Does Jesus really take sides in a football game anyways?
Next in the series . . . What Would Jesus Watch! Find out which televangelist is the Lord's favorite.
Jesus doesn't take sides in football games or other sporting events. We have free will so we can determine which side to choose in a sporting event. Just look at the Sermon on The Mount; Jesus indicates his position with, "Blessed are the bookmakers for they shall establish the line." What more do you need?
Posted by: The CultureGhost | June 23, 2005 at 12:12 PM
Jesus would also eat at In-N-Out because according to "Fast Food Nation," In-N-Out has some of the best meat-handling practices in the industry. And quite frankly, Jesus would know better than to eat burgers that literally have shit in them.
Posted by: mags | June 23, 2005 at 01:11 PM
Jesus would also eat there because they pay their workers more than minimum wage.
Posted by: Roxanne | June 23, 2005 at 03:10 PM
Very true Roxanne. They are one of the highest paying fast-food chains. I'm getting hungry for a double-double and fries right now as I type...
Posted by: Agitprop | June 23, 2005 at 06:24 PM