agitprop version 2.0

My Swan Song

(This post is dated in the future so that it remains on top).

With great regret I must announce that I, Agi T. Prop, have decided to shut down AGITPROP. In about a week’s time I will be passing the AGITPROP torch (and the domain name) to my colleague Blogenfreude. I’m passing the domain to someone I trust because I didn’t want some asshole to steal the domain and turn it into a online dating site (like what happened to Gretchen’s Green Lantern blog).

This domain—http://agitprop.typepad.com--will look and feel different under the command of Blogenfreude, however I am confidant in his abilities and hope that you give him the same kindness, attention and respect that you have given me.

. . .

For a while (maybe a month or two) I’ve been considering ditching this blog. It’s taking up way too much of my time—time I should be spending with my wife, playing guitar, writing music, reading books, learning new things, exploring the physical world, exercising, living, etc. There’s so much I want and need to do in my life, and I feel that this blog is somehow preventing me from achieving those goals. When I started this blog a year ago, it was just for fun. But then I got a regular audience and I felt the pressure of daily posting.

It’s time for me to move on to new pursuits. I’ve grown rather cynical about our political situation these days and it’s become a tiresome exercise documenting the daily crimes of the Bush junta. Therefore, I have decided to downgrade this hobby back into the closet where it belongs.

Before I go, I must give credit where credit is due. First I’d like to thank The Heretik for inspiration during my blogging evolution. I also want to thank The General and Norm for their loyal linkage over the past few months. And last but not least, I want to thank you—my loyal flock of readers—who keep coming back on a daily basis to read my rants. I thank you for your comments and your patronage. I also want to give a special "shout out" to some fine blogging comrades: John, Matt, Shakes Sis, Culture Ghost, and Vaughn just to name a few.

Don't worry. I won't be disappearing off the face of the planet. You can still reach me via email. I'm also open for guest blogging here and there, special projects (Heretik you know what I mean) and maybe even some photo-shopping. But in a week's time, my days as editor of AGITPROP will be no more. Who knows, I might resurface in a different incarnation somewhere in the blogosphere.

But Agi, why leave now?

Well, like Neil Young sang:

It’s better to burn out than fade away.
My my, hey hey.

Good night and good luck.

P.S. We'll meet again, some sunny day . . .

Sincerely,

Agi T. Prop

One-Legged Man Eludes Police, Steals Patrol Car

I love cops, especially ones from The 909. They should invest in some better handcuffs:

RIALTO - A disabled man managed to escape arrest Tuesday by slipping out of his handcuffs and taking the patrol car officers had placed him in. Police continued searching Tuesday night for Phillip Anthony Moreno, 44, who uses a wheelchair. Moreno and his girlfriend Denise Marie Vasquez, 35, had been taken into custody about 3 p.m. by security officers at Home Depot after the couple tried to steal a handheld electric saw, police Sgt. Randy DeAnda said . . .

When officers arrived at Home Depot in the 1400 block of Foothill Avenue, they arrested Moreno and Vasquez and placed them in separate patrol cars. Moreno's wheelchair was placed in the trunk of the car he was in. Officers then walked a few feet away to search the couple's car. That's when Moreno pulled a Houdini act, sloughing off his handcuffs and crawling through the window in the security barrier that separates the front and back seats, DeAnda said. Moreno then used his good leg to speed away, DeAnda said.

If you see a one-legged man in a wheelchair roaming around San Bernadino County then please call the police. He's reported to be armed and dangerous (and quite crafty too).

Caption This #4: Mein Führer, I Can Walk!

Fresh out of surgery and without his cane, Cheney greets Marine units back from Iraq.

Attention Hummer Owners!

Do not despair that your gas-guzzling, military-style suburban combat vehicles are hazards to both the environment and the personal safety of other drivers. I have found the cure for your Hummer-induced cognitive dissonance.

Display your pride for environmental destruction by flaunting your officially licensed Hummer Merchandise! There are caps, jackets, mugs . . . and even a portable Hummer barbecue! Imagine how good steaks would taste imbued with the right about of Hummer hickory flavor! Mmm.

Now I understand that you behemoth substitute penis captains believe the Hummer is a status symbol of power (or a psychological compensation device for your small wang). I bet you miss your Hummer when you're not driving. Well, H2 fragrance allows you to flaunt this status symbol all day long--it's only $20 per ounce and it is "sexy, deep and urban". Yeah baby, grrr!

I love the smell of H2 in the morning, smells like . . . global warming!

Bush's "Peter Principle" Appointment

NEWSFLASH: U.S. Supreme Court Seats Now Up For Sale!
An Exclusive Joint Report by Agi T. Prop and Blogenfreude

Sure, a Supreme Court seat costs more than say, a FEMA directorship, but if you do the time (or make the requisite contributions), you too can have a seat on the nation’s highest court!

Harriet Miers will forever be known as the Michael Brown of the federal judiciary. If Michael Brown epitomized Bush-era cronyism in the executive branch, Miers--who has no judicial experience whatsoever--will be the holy beacon of cronyism in the judiciary. By nominating his own personal lawyer to the highest court in the land, Bush has proved that he still has some cojones. Here's the latest dispatch from People for the American Way, an evil communist organization that hates freedom, loves terrorists and wants to destroy America:

“President Bush has nominated his personal lawyer and long-time friend to a lifetime appointment on the Supreme Court. His choice raises serious questions about whether he has found a nominee who has the requisite qualifications and independence for the nation’s highest court.   This nomination will require the closest scrutiny by the Senate,” said Neas.  “With no past judicial experience for the senators to consider, the burden will be on Miers to be forthright with the Senate and the American people.  She must outline her judicial philosophy and provide direct answers to questions about how – and whether – she will uphold fundamental rights, liberties and legal protections on which Americans rely.”

Now I understand why PFAW President Ralph Neas is #10 in the 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America--he believes in open government, impartial courts and civil liberties! But, back to Miers.

Her 30+ year experience as a corporate lawyer with big Texas firms is certain to make her a strong defender of corporate hegemony against the rights of individuals and consumers. Her time spent as the Dear Leader's personal lawyer foreshadows her championing executive power and privilege. She will rubber stamp Bush's pre-emptive wars and indefinite detentions of "enemy combatants". While Governor of Texas, Bush referred to Miers as "a pitbull in size 6 shoes".

MORE INFO: Matt nails it--Miers doesn't look like a pitbull, she looks like Iggy Pop with lipstick and dark eye-liner. Attytood uncovers Miers' role in the AWOL Bush/National Guard Scandal. NPR offers good coverage of the nomination.

UPDATE: People act quickly on the internets. Did you know that Harriet Miers has a blog? The Orwellian-named right-wing advocacy group Progress for America already thinks Miers is confirmed. Check out their latest web project: JusticeMiers.com

tags: harriet miers

Let's Gas The Peaceniks!

Did the U.S. government utilize biological weapons materials against war protesters in Washington, D.C. last weekend? Well then, how do you explain this:

WASHINGTON, Oct 1 (Reuters) - Small amounts of a bacteria that causes "rabbit fever" were found on Washington's National Mall last weekend as thousands of protesters marched against the Iraq War, U.S. health authorities said on Saturday.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said several government environmental air monitors in the Mall area detected low levels of Francisella tularensis bacteria that cause Tularemia, commonly known as rabbit fever, on Sept. 24-25.

I wonder why the CDC waited until Friday to release this information--a full five days after the protest. Oh, by the way, the disease is airborne.

The CDC also said the bacteria can be used as a weapon if made into an aerosol that could be inhaled. "The bacteria that cause Tularemia occur widely in nature and could be isolated and grown in quantity in a laboratory, although manufacturing an effective aerosol weapon would require considerable sophistication," the CDC said.

The Washington Post said the germ that causes tularemia is considered a biohazard because it is highly infectious and was tested in the 1960s by the United States as a biological weapon.

Don't tell me that it was a random fluke of nature that Tularemia just happened to be floating through the air that Saturday afternoon. About 200,000 critics of the current regime descending on the nation's capital to protest the regime provided a perfect opportunity to test out the latest in biological weaponry. Sounds to me like the Anthrax attacks all over again, except this time the government screwed up and no one died.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the government released the toxins, but it sounds too fishy for my skeptical ears.

The First Annual AGITPROP "Fox News Alert" Challenge

In the comments on a previous post, I lampooned the absurdity of Fox News Alerts:

Could you imagine what Fox News Alerts would have been like if Fox broadcasted during the 1960s:

UPPITY NEGROES REVOLT, DEMAND SPECIAL "CIVIL" RIGHTS

This made me wonder--what dramatic "news alerts" would Fox have been broadcasting if they were around for the past 200 years of world history? Therefore, may I present to you, The First Annual AGITPROP "Fox News Alert" Challenge. Blogenfreude has offered up some good examples for this weekend exercise.

Now it's your turn. Go for it.