agitprop version 2.0

Police and Thieves

In this week's Thursday Review, I'd like to take a look at the corrupt cops and politicians who rule my fair county.  Despite it's clean-cut Christian Republican image, there's a dark and dirty underbelly filled with many rotten oranges.

The Orange County Sheriff's office has had its share of scandal lately. First there was Greg Haidl, son of wealthy Orange County Assistant Sheriff Don Haidl, who was convicted of gang rape this year. He and his friends decided to rape an underage girl who had passed out on a pool table. These bastards even had the gall the videotape the rape. Although he was convicted, thanks to his Daddy's position as Assistant Sheriff he probably won't spend any time in prison!

Another Assistant Sheriff, George Jaramillo loved taking bribes. He was forced out of office and arrested last year for using department resources to benefit a company that paid him $25,000 in consulting fees.

The former mayor of Huntington Beach, Pam Julien Houchen, pleaded guilty earlier this month to profiting from the sale of illegally converted condominiums. She took advantage of the soaring real estate prices in "Surf City". Here's Cairo at the lovely Huntington dog beach.

Former Irvine mayor and current Irvine city-council member Larry Agran ain't a bad guy. I met him a few years back in college at a luncheon speaker series. He seemed like a liberal Democrat with his talk of establishing affordable housing here in Irvine. Affordable? Ha! One-bedroom apartments in this city start at $1300/month. It turned out that Agran was merely the bitch of Donald Bren and the Irvine Company.

Agran prides himself off his enviro brain child--The Great Park--which is going to be built on the grounds of the former El Toro Marine Base. This Orwellian park might sound nice but it's merely an excuse to give building contracts to Agran's wealthy corporate donors. The Great Park's website even has a convenient link for "corporations who want to do business with the Great Park". When it's completed, I can expect to grab a Frappacino from the park's Starbucks near the Vans skate park next to the Schwin Bike Path.

That brings me to the latest gossip on head OC Sheriff Mike Carona. He is "flabbergasted" at allegations that he sexually assaulted a co-worker. The LA Times today offered this double-entendre laden title: Carona Wants Sex Allegation Probed.

I'm going to dedicate a song to Sheriff Carona. It is sung to the tune of My Sharona by The Knack:

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some? I'm Carona!
Ooh I'll give you battery, assault 'n battery*
Don't talk or I'll whack you in the eye, Carona!
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
Of the co-worker kind. My my my i yi woo.
My name is Mike Carona, Sheriff Mike Carona!

*= please note these are allegations and no convictions have been made

In Which The Dude Greatly Abides

            

I've decided to take the Thursday Review in an even more random direction. Instead of just reviewing bits and pieces of the news I'd like to expand this feature to include my favorite blog posts of the week as well as give you--the readers and fellow bloggers--a chance to blogwhore your own stuff.    

Left Blogistan Has Been Busy This Week

Suburban Guerrilla celebrates the return of Queen Maureen. I don't know what we did without the brilliant musings of Miss Dowd for so long, but she is back from vacation, ready to comment on our Dear Leader's vacation.

In a piece worthy of Operation Yellow Elephant, Attaturk points out all the Republican Chickenhawks who will be eligible to join the military when the DOD raises the maximum enlistment age to 42. As always Attaturk has the perfect mix of photos and captions.

Orcinus proves once and for all that the Minutemen are in fact a bunch of Nazis. I wonder if they can be considered as enemies in the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism? I wrote about the Minuteman Project about four months ago, and I still believe their "patriotic" efforts are strongly misguided. What's worse is that Minuteman founder Jim Gilchrist wants to run for Congress in my district this fall! This race to fill Chris Cox's empty seat is opening itself up to all kinds of wackos down here in "the OC". Maybe I should join the race after all.

In one of the most brilliant posts I’ve read in a while, the always intriguing Lance Mannion dissects right-wing rage towards Cindy Sheehan:

Forget all that and look at the orckish evil mindedness of their assuming that a son would turn on his mother because of her political opinions. You see the mirror they're holding up?  Loyalty to the right political idea---to their idea---trumps all, family loyalty and a son's love for his mother included. What's reflected in that mirror are people who have no respect for anything, not a dead solider, not a mother's grief, certainly not truth, not even themselves, no respect for anything but an idea. The idea being that George Bush does no wrong. Orcs terrified of the Nazgul aren't any more slavish to the Eye.

Just a bunch of fiendish Orcs I tell ya . . .

Blogwhoring Time

Please feel free to drop a link in the comments. Whether it is your own post or a news story that's been overlooked this week, make sure to spread the love and let the information flow freely.

Fitter Happier More Productive

I admit that I've slacked off lately when it comes to doing a proper Thursday Review. But today, Thor is back in action, here to bring you a variety of links with a random post-title to boot. Does anyone know where this post-title comes from (without using Google)?

No Wonder Popular Music Sucks

Because big corporations tell radio stations what to play! New York state Attorney General Eliot Spitzer has gone after Sony BMG Music Entertainment for bribing radio stations to play their artists on the radio. Spitzer called the practice “pervasive” in the industry and suggested other music industry giants could face similar penalties. How bad is the payola? The LA Times reports that Sony offered a radio station program director a 32-inch plasma TV in exchange for adding Jennifer Lopez songs to the station's play-list. Please do good music a favor, listen to indie radio and buy your CD's at an independent music store. 

DLC: Democratic Losers Council

Some Democrats are already looking forward to losing the 2006 midterms and the 2008 presidential election. With Hillary Clinton as their new coach, the DLC laid out its liberal agenda at its annual summer meeting which includes: increased defense spending, free trade economic policies and family values rhetoric. If you can't beat the Republicans you might as well join them, right? John @ Blogenlust has jumped in on the action and is selling "The DLC: Where Republican Talking Points Go To Die" apparel.

Republicans Heart Terrorists

Next to Osama Bin Laden, Luis Posada Carriles must be the Republican party's favorite terrorist. Posada is accused of carrying out the 1976 bombing of a Cubana Airlines plane which killed 73 people including the entire Cuban Olympic fencing team. Like Bin Laden, Posada was also on the CIA payroll, which is why the U.S. wants to protect him and not allow him to be extradited to Venezuela for prosecution. Posada is also the suspect for an assassination attempt on Fidel Castro in 1998 when he was attending a Latin American summit as well as the 1997 hotel bombings in Havana that killed an Italian tourist. 

Move Over Karen Hughes

Latin-pop sensation Ricky Martin has announced that he will try to change negative perceptions of Arab youth in the West through the work of his foundation. He's been out of the limelight for several years spending his time in India practicing meditation and working as a United Nations Children's Fund goodwill ambassador. Martin commented: "My role is entirely humanitarian, and I will continue to promote the elimination of stereotyping anyone--be they from Latin America, the Middle East, or anywhere across the globe". I commend his noble work. I'm just sorry that his songs were butchered by this clown who's droning still echoes in my ears every once in a while.

They Hate Us For Our Freedom Fries?

Michael Smerconish has a good post titled Why Do They Hate Us? up on the Huffington Post. He discusses Michael Scheuer's book Imperial Hubris and tackles some strategies for winning the War on Terror Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism. Scheuer's main thesis is that the West has been treating this conflict as a chance to build empire as opposed to a mission dedicated to eliminating terrorists. Scheuer argues that the United States must get tougher and in his words annihilate "most of this first generation of Islamists". Sounds harsh eh? I seem to think that the more of them we kill, the more pop up in their place.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

The BBC reports that Japanese scientists have created a female human-looking robot android called Repliee Q1. I didn't know that the Laura2005 was available in a Japanese version yet. Now the Japanese can satisfy their odd sexual fantasies by including robots in their bukkake orgies.

Today in History

1794 - The Reign of Terror ends in France when Maximilien Robespierre is guillotined in front of a cheering crowd. What goes around comes around . . .

1914 - World War I begins when Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia. Serbia failed to meet the conditions of Austria-Hungary's ultimatum on July 23 following the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serbian assassin. This war of imperial powers took the lives of 8.5 million people.

1932 - President Herbert Hoover orders the U.S. Army to forcibly evict the Bonus Army of World War I veterans gathered in front of the White House. They gathered to demand their bonuses that they were promised for fighting in WWI. Have Republican presidents ever really supported the troops? Maybe Iraq War vets should march on Dubya's lawn and we'll see if Barney and Miss Beasley are sent out as mediators.

1998 - Monica Lewinsky receives transactional immunity in exchange for her grand jury testimony concerning her relationship with President Bill Clinton.

That said, I will leave you with this quote from Randi Rhodes, who spoke at last weekend's Downing Street Memo gathering in NYC. It tends to put things in perspective (this is paraphrased from what I heard on the air yesterday):

Clinton had sex, was impeached, put on trial and was acquitted. Bush is f*king the world and getting away with it!

Life goes on, I guess.

Stephanie Klein cafta space shuttle discovery politics karl rove freedom

Republican Demotivators®

I'm off to the Beck concert right now. I'll leave you with Agi T. Prop's brand new series of Republican Demotivators® (based on The Art of Demotivation from Despair, Inc).

Part One: Our Fearless Leader (Look Ma, No Brains!)

                            

Part Two:  Mindless Sheeple or Yellow Elephants?

                  

Part Three:  W is For Women! (Wellesley Women to be exact)

            

Where Do We Go From Here?

Taking stock of the madness:

• Terrorist attack on downtown London leaves 40 dead, 300 injured
• President Bush falls off bicycle, sanity metaphorically falls with him
• Vacancy on Supreme Court foreshadows "war" between Left and Right
• Judith "Chalabi Salami Sucker" Miller goes to jail to protect a traitor
• Four months later and still no U.N. ambassador
• Shark attacks increase throughout Florida, Hurricanes are on their way
• CNN becomes MKN, Missing Kids Network
• Lil' Kim (the rapper, not the North Korean dictator) gets 366 days of jail time for perjury
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie adopt Ethopian child, while thousands die each day from lack of food

Like General "Buck" Turgidson (George C. Scott) said in Dr. Strangelove: "Stop the insanity!"

Will Somebody Please Strangle Larry Miller

If you live in the greater Los Angeles area then you will know who Larry Miller is. He is the president of Sit and Sleep (Your Mattress Superstore) and one of the most annoying bastards to hit television and radio commercials since Carrot Top hawked 1-800-CALL ATT.  He yells this following tag line in a high-pitched lisp-ridden voice:

We'll beat anyone's advertising price or your mattress is FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 

Now . . . The Return of Thor!

I Heart GITMO?

What would possess someone to wear an I Heart GITMO t-shirt? Who would purchase an orange "Club Gitmo" polo shirt from the EIB (Excellence in Butt-Fucking) store? I guess there are plenty of mindless ditto-heads who would gladly fork out money for the latest jingoistic fad that their leader is selling. Well, poor Rush has to find some way to support his hillbilly heroin habit. In his latest cartoon The Oppression Collection, Ted Rall points out which prison camps the Republican cloth-makers have left out. I could just imagine Michelle Malkin going bananas over the "I Heart Manzanar" t-shirt. 

Republicans Demand Exit Strategy (Six Years Ago)

George W. Bush in 1999: “Victory means exit strategy, and it’s important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is.” But when you become president it's a whole different story. Even though you stated you were against nation building in the 2000 campaign, now you don't have to give timetables or exit strategies on your own imperial nation building exericse in Iraq. John at Blogenlust has many more examples of this Republican hypocrisy.

Doritos For The Dictator

While U.S. prison guards were torturing detainees at Abu Ghraib, Saddam Hussein was livin' it up in his cell munching on Doritos and chatting with his guards. What are the implications of Saddam's support for FritoLay snack products? Guy at Low Culture unleashed some faux outrage on PepsiCo (which owns FritoLay) about the treasonous implications of Saddam's support for American snack food. You must read the email response he got from PepsiCo. 

British Nostalgia for Empire

Before the United States assumed the role of global hegemon after World War II, the British Empire was the world's major superpower for at least two centuries. On June 28 the British commemorated the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar when the British navy defeated Napoleon's French and Spanish forces. Ships re-enacted the battle Tuesday with fusillades of gunfire, blasts from cannons and fireworks in an attempt to remind the world that they used to be important. That makes me wonder . . . when the American Empire eventually falls, what battle will we commemorate to celebrate our once famed grandiosity? 

Today in History

1651 - The Battle of Beresteczko ends with a Polish victory over Ukraine. Wow, I can't believe the Polish actually won a war.

1936 - Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind is published. The novel described the difficulties of slave ownership and how whites were tragically forced to relinquish their ownership of African American chattel. If you ask me, I prefer The Wind Done Gone, which looks at this whole scenario from a slave's point of view.   

1966 - Happy Birthday to ear-chomper Mike Tyson, who turns 39 years old today.

2002 - Brazil won their fifth title in the World Cup defeating Germany 2-0 in Yokohama, Japan. I remember watching that game at 2 a.m. (due to the time difference between California and Japan). I'm hoping for a sixth win next year. Ronaldo better stay with the team through 2006 dammit!

Words

Twenty-three phrases on the twenty-third day of June . . .

Please note: Thor and the usual Thursday Review will return next week.

The Thursday Review, War Criminals Edition

Marching in lock step, lies abound, with blood dripping off their hands . . .

The bloodlust continues. The stench is excruciating. Need I say more?

(Thanks to The Heretik for pictorial inspiration).

MTV, Get Off The Air

While taking Cairo on her usual 2.5-mile walk last night, I listened to the Dead Kennedy's Mutiny on the Bay [Live] album in my iPod. The tracks are taken from live DK performances in 1982 and 1986. They are filled with raw energy, searing guitar riffs, and healthy doses of Jello Biafra's punk sarcasm and confrontational politics. The track MTV, Get Off The Air is particularly enjoyable. Jello lambastes MTV for destroying music while singing the role of an MTV Vee-jay:

My job is to help destroy what's left of your imagination
By feeding you endless doses of sugar coated mindless garbage
So don’t create, be sedate, be a vegetable at home
And thwack on that dial
If we have our way even you will believe
This is the future of rock and roll

It's been twenty years since Jello sung those words and I would say that MTV has done a pretty good job destroying music. That reminds me, Jello belongs in Agitprop's Über-Allies. Stay tuned for that one in the future.

We Are Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

The Bush administration claims that Al Qaeda has been somewhat neutralized and that capturing Bin Laden is no longer a top priority. So are we winning the War on Error Terror? Almost four years after the September 11 attacks it appears that the ranks of terrorist groups are increasing. It was Bin Laden's dream for the U.S. to invade Iraq. It has served as the greatest recruitment tool since the armies of the Holy Roman Empire invaded Jerusalem during the Crusades. The increase in terrorists actually helps the Bush foreign policy by giving further justification to endless war. We'll keep "huntin' 'em down" and "smokin' 'em out" until 2095.

Watch This!

Last year A Perfect Circle recorded a cover version of John Lennon's song Imagine. The sound is much darker than Lennon's hopeful sounding original version.  However, A Perfect Circle have added a new depth to the song in my view. I recommend watching the music video which contains a powerful montage of war, peace and the "decline of Western civilization" to quote lead singer Maynard James Keenan. The video is located on the top left of the page.

Guantanamo: Not A Gulag

I agree with the Bush administration that despite Amnesty International's claims, Guantanamo naval prison is NOT a gulag. A gulag is defined as "a network of forced labor camps in the former Soviet Union" and "a forced labor camp or prison, especially for political dissidents". The detainees at Guantanamo do NOT engage in forced labor as in Stalin's Soviet gulags. Guantanamo more closely resembles a concentration camp which is defined as "a camp where civilians, enemy aliens, political prisoners, and sometimes prisoners of war are detained and confined, typically under harsh conditions". It's absurd when an organization like Amnesty International gets their semantics wrong.

               

Guantanamo is Bush's concentration camp. The world is his gulag.   

Agitprop's iPod

What's on heavy rotation on my iPod this week? Besides the usual Sex Pistols, Clash, and Beatles tunes I do have some new music.

Beck  Guero
Nine Inch Nails  With Teeth
System of a Down  Mezmerize

What's on your playlist this week, this month, etc?

Please, do share your musical suggestions with the Commandanté . . .

The World is a Vampire

Better late than never . . .

Boycott This

The reactionary conservative magazine Human Events Online has identified The Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th centuries. I agree with their selection of Hitler's Mein Kampf, but are they truly serious about John Dewey and John Maynard Keynes being on the list? John Stuart Mill's On Liberty was also considered but did not make it into the top ten. We all know what a wacko commie that limey bastard was.

The Parents Television Council (PTC) is valiantly leading the fight against the Paris Hilton-Carl's Jr. ad. However, they also need your help in their campaign against Sex in the City which is currently showing on TBS. The PTC believes that the graphic language and titillating scenes of sexuality in the program are not suitable for young viewers. My wife loves this show. We tivo it at home and I'm usually nicely coerced into watching it. With its dialog about men giving women pearl necklaces, whipped cream sex, fancy vibrators, and guys exploding in their pants, some may think the show is too hot for a 9 p.m. time slot. While this show about superficial sexually-depraved women who worship coitus and consumerism is shallow, it is not worthy of censorship.

The final boycott of the day can be found at Boycott Liberalism where, well, they want to boycott practically everything. This week they've blacklisted The Eagles Live in Australia on NBC, Newsweek magazine, Willie Nelson's album The Ghost, The Dave Matthews Band's album Stand Up, and Ashton Kutcher's new movie A Lot Like Love. If the wackos at Boycott Liberalism advocate banning these evil liberal heathens, that means they must be worth checking out.

Deep Throat

So, Deep Throat is some 91-year old senile guy. Hmm, I wasn't alive during Watergate so that's why I'm not too interested in this story. But I wanted to find a picture of the guy so I did a Google image search on "Deep Throat".  Needless to say I was a wee bit startled by the explicit results. Give it a try if you dare. Note: Moderate Safe Search must be turned off.

Today in History

455 - The Vandals invade Rome and plunder the city for two weeks. Really? They're from Orange County! I dig their hardcore punk-ska sound.

576 - Benedict I, the first strongly Eurocentric pope, was made Pope. Our current Pope Benedict XVI takes his namesake from Benny the First. What do you know? Benny the Sixteenth is also pretty Eurocentric.

1953 - The coronation of Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom becomes the first of its kind to be televised. Her coronation results in a wave of televised ceremonies which are both anachronistic and utterly pointless. 

1998 - Voters in California approved California Proposition 227 which abolished the state's bilingual education program. Sorry, no hablo español más.

More history here.