agitprop version 2.0

Gotta Love Them OC Wingnuts

Here's a little gem I found in the letter section of the OC Weekly, Orange County's left-leaning alternative weekly news magazine. This wingnut must have graduated from the Ann Coulter school of political rhetoric:

Re: Rebecca Schoenkopf’s “Thank God for That Tax Cut!” [Sept. 9]: You know what’s worse than you liberals hating the president? It’s terrorists. And you liberals who hate the president are just as bad as terrorists. You two get along so well. And you know what? When are you liberals going to start blaming this whole catastrophe on the Category 5 hurricane that struck that land, huh? And why didn’t those people who died act on the warning to get out? No, you know what, they wanted to ride the wave out, they just wanted to ride it out. Well, they rode it straight to their deaths. So maybe next time all you fuckin’ liberals will start blaming who’s really to blame here. Those people had a warning, Rebecca, and they did not get out, you fuckin’ dumb ass! I can’t believe you would ruin your 10-year anniversary on filthy print like this, you fuckin’ terrorist! Rebecca Schoenkopf, you are nothing but a terrorist, you fuckin’ cunt!

Christopher Kling
Voicemail

Wow Christopher. Your comparison of liberals to terrorists is so fresh! I don't think I've ever heard that before. Your misogynistic attack on Miss Schoenkopf would be admired by all knuckle-dragging barbarians across our fair county. I also appreciated your "blame the victim" style assault on the casualties of Hurricane Katrina. I always thought they had a death wish. Why else would those poor people with no means of transportation or cash choose to ride out the storm?

One question for you Christopher . . . why do you hate freedom?

Here's Rebecca Schoenkopf's column which tipped Christopher over the edge. Schoenkopf writes the Commie Girl column and can also be found at Commie Girl Collective. As much as I detest the writings of Michelle Malkin and other right-wing psycho hose beasts, I would never resort to using sexist epithets. Their insane views speak for themselves.

Crisis In Newport Beach!

Sea Lions Attack Rich People:

In a scene that has played out up and down the West Coast, the whiskered creatures are charming tourists but exasperating local officials, who are studying a far-flung set of strategies to thwart the federally protected mammals. On Wednesday, the Newport Beach Harbor Commission debated the situation, which has taken on added urgency since 18 sea lions piled onto a 37-foot sailboat and sank it over Labor Day weekend. The sheriff's Harbor Patrol has also been inundated with noise complaints. "A barking dog doesn't hold a candle to this. It's like 40 barking dogs — in surround sound," grumbled Balboa Peninsula resident Darci Schriber.

Well, what do you expect when you live on the coast and invade their natural habitat?

City workers and criminals serving community service terms formed 24-hour sea lion patrols, armed with giant squirt guns to scare off the lumbering intruders. Elsewhere along the Pacific coast, sea lions have attacked swimmers, chomped bodyboards and even yanked people off boats.

Sea lions of the world unite! Only you can destroy the ruling class by sinking their yachts and polluting the sonic space surrounding their mansions!

Police and Thieves

In this week's Thursday Review, I'd like to take a look at the corrupt cops and politicians who rule my fair county.  Despite it's clean-cut Christian Republican image, there's a dark and dirty underbelly filled with many rotten oranges.

The Orange County Sheriff's office has had its share of scandal lately. First there was Greg Haidl, son of wealthy Orange County Assistant Sheriff Don Haidl, who was convicted of gang rape this year. He and his friends decided to rape an underage girl who had passed out on a pool table. These bastards even had the gall the videotape the rape. Although he was convicted, thanks to his Daddy's position as Assistant Sheriff he probably won't spend any time in prison!

Another Assistant Sheriff, George Jaramillo loved taking bribes. He was forced out of office and arrested last year for using department resources to benefit a company that paid him $25,000 in consulting fees.

The former mayor of Huntington Beach, Pam Julien Houchen, pleaded guilty earlier this month to profiting from the sale of illegally converted condominiums. She took advantage of the soaring real estate prices in "Surf City". Here's Cairo at the lovely Huntington dog beach.

Former Irvine mayor and current Irvine city-council member Larry Agran ain't a bad guy. I met him a few years back in college at a luncheon speaker series. He seemed like a liberal Democrat with his talk of establishing affordable housing here in Irvine. Affordable? Ha! One-bedroom apartments in this city start at $1300/month. It turned out that Agran was merely the bitch of Donald Bren and the Irvine Company.

Agran prides himself off his enviro brain child--The Great Park--which is going to be built on the grounds of the former El Toro Marine Base. This Orwellian park might sound nice but it's merely an excuse to give building contracts to Agran's wealthy corporate donors. The Great Park's website even has a convenient link for "corporations who want to do business with the Great Park". When it's completed, I can expect to grab a Frappacino from the park's Starbucks near the Vans skate park next to the Schwin Bike Path.

That brings me to the latest gossip on head OC Sheriff Mike Carona. He is "flabbergasted" at allegations that he sexually assaulted a co-worker. The LA Times today offered this double-entendre laden title: Carona Wants Sex Allegation Probed.

I'm going to dedicate a song to Sheriff Carona. It is sung to the tune of My Sharona by The Knack:

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some? I'm Carona!
Ooh I'll give you battery, assault 'n battery*
Don't talk or I'll whack you in the eye, Carona!
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
Of the co-worker kind. My my my i yi woo.
My name is Mike Carona, Sheriff Mike Carona!

*= please note these are allegations and no convictions have been made

Battle For The Forty-Eighth

Ever since President Bush appointed my Congressman Christopher Cox to head the SEC, the 48th Congressional district of California has been gearing up for a special election. I have officially decided not to run for the seat. I don't think Orange County is ready for Agi T. Prop just yet.

CA-48 has the complete list of candidates--all seventeen of them. Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman Project, is officially in the race running under the American Independent Party. He will probably garner a few votes from the Mexican-haters and white supremacists.

The favorite in the race is State Senator John Campbell. Just last week his campaign signs popped up all over my city. The OC Blog notes that Campbell has been endorsed by Gen NeXt, a group of young conservative businessmen. Gen NeXt is affiliated with the New Majority, a group of at least 150 fiscally conservative and socially moderate Orange County multimillionaires.

If the OC millionaires got his back, then Campbell is already in. I probably won't bother voting because a Republican is bound to win. Hell would literally freeze over if a Democrat won the seat. Campbell probably has Arnold's approval. And Chimpy probably likes him too . . .      

                        

I might as well get used to Congressman Campbell and his positions. According to Vote Smart, he gets a 100% rating from conservative groups, a grade "A" from the NRA, about 10% from civil rights groups and a whopping 0% from environmental groups. He'll fit right in down here!

Le Circle Orange

Last night I joined the lovely ladies from Code Pink at their weekly protest in Orange, CA. They had about 300 people show up for the Cindy Sheehan vigil last week, however, this week the crowd was down to about 30 faithful peaceniks.

I was surprised at the positive response from the cars driving by—they flashed peace signs and honked their horns enthusiastically. Of course we got some angry shouts of “Go home fuckers” or "Losers" accompanied by the middle finger. But that is to be expected here. After all, we were protesting in the heart of Orange County wingnutopia.

Afterward I met up with a fellow OC lefty blogger named El Serracho. Check out his blog. He is proud of his self-described lackluster photoshop skills. I’ve never actually met a person in the flesh from blogging before, and it was great. He informed me that according to a new study Orange County is the #10 most conservative county in the nation!

El S and I have decided to organize future meet-ups around the OC. So if any of you reside in or around the OC and would like to join us please drop me an email. Hey, it’s an excuse to go drinking, right?

P.S. El S, if you read this please send me the link to that study. Thanks.

UPDATE/CORRECTION: The study I mentioned above was in fact a study about cities, not counties. According to the study, three Orange County cities ranked in the "Top 25 Most Conservative Cities" in the nation. Orange #10, Garden Grove #17 and Huntington Beach #25.

Disneyland's Golden Anniversary

Mrs. Agitprop and I almost went to Disneyland yesterday to check out their 50th anniversary celebration. My Mom remembers going to Disneyland the first month it opened in 1955. Back then Orange County actually had orange groves. Now they have all been bulldozed to build tract homes and shopping centers. The city of Anaheim, the site of Disneyland, was literally demolished and then re-made in Walt Disney's image.

Yesterday's 50th anniversary extravaganza featured deposed executive Michael Eisner and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who got booed by hecklers. Ultimately we decided not to go because of the massive crowds. But if I knew the Gropenfuhrer was going to be there, I totally would have gone.      

                              

The Gropenfuhrer leads Mickey Mouse to the gallows after giving Disneyland an AustroFascist remake.

OTHER INFO:    Disney: The Evil Empire?    Walt Disney   Disney's Deceit

Technorati:  Disneyland

The Return of B-1 Bob?

I am probably not going to run for Congress in my district after all . However, if this fine citizen enters the race, maybe I have a chance of winning:

Former U.S. Rep. Robert K. Dornan, who represented Orange County from 1985 through 1996 as a Republican, is considering another run for Congress from outside the party.

Dornan, 72, failed in bids for Congress in 1996, 1998 and 2004.

He is considering running as a candidate for the American Independent Party to gain an advantage for the congressional seat held by Rep. Christopher Cox, R-Newport Beach. The seat is expected to become vacant with the U.S. Senate's expected confirmation of Cox as chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Dornan is a class act. He punched out a Democratic Congressman on the floor of the House of Representatives, he cashed checks for the Virgin Mary during the 1990's House banking scandal, and is a stellar fighter pilot who avoided going to the Korean War and crashed his plane several times. I remember back in 1996 when he lost his seat to Democrat Loretta Sanchez. He said the election was stolen and claimed that illegal immigrants (Mexicans) had voted for Sanchez. He also accused Democrats of stealing his campaign signs from the front lawns of houses. His district, in which Latinos make up the majority, grew tired of his anti-immigrant and war-mongering rhetoric so they decided to elect a Latina woman to the seat. I know Dornan's daughters, and I went to school with his grand-kids.

What exactly is the American Independent Party? Here are some of the main points from their platform:

• Uphold traditional marriage and family values (STOP THE GAYS!)
• Reduce immigration, and stop all government subsidies to illegal aliens; no driver's licenses for illegals; (SEND THE FUCKERS BACK TO MEXICO!)
• Defend America's moral values; keep God in the pledge of allegiance; (OBEY AUTHORITY)
• Protect the right to life of the innocent unborn; (BUT ONCE THE KID IS BORN, FUCK 'EM)
• Support high standards in education, including encouragement of private schools and home schooling; (PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE THE WORK OF SATAN)
• Stop reckless spending, including foreign aid, and take care of America's domestic needs; (AFRICA DOESN'T NEED AID, GIVE THE MONEY TO U.S. CORPORATIONS)
• Get rid of the Federal income tax, and restore a tariff based revenue system; (FLAT TAX! LET THE POOR SUFFER!)

And the kicker . . . Vote American Independent - - the only party supporting the State's right to recognize God and the Ten Commandments.

So, with Dornan in the race running on jingo isolationist party ticket, could it split the vote and allow the Agitprop Party to win? Here are some hypothetical election results for the 48th district:

Republican candidate = 28%
Democrat candidate = 19%
American Independent = 24%
Agitprop Party = 29%

Seriously, I think I could have a shot. Last year Orange County voters elected an unknown conspiracy nut named Steve Rocco to Country School Board. He won despite the fact that he made no public appearances and no one even knew who he was. Therefore, Agitprop is not out of the running just yet. I still have a chance.

                     

Surf City Here We Come

Yesterday we took Cairo to Huntington Beach, a.k.a. Surf City. I'm not sure if Huntington Beach  is the original "Surf City" but they claim it is. Even the congressman here surfs. He's a former Reagan lackey who digs the Minuteman project and likes military photo-ops (typical Orange County politics).

Click here for a map of the region. Is that a retro bike or what?

Here's Cairo at the dog beach running from the waves . . .

Continue reading Surf City Here We Come . . .