agitprop version 2.0

One-Legged Man Eludes Police, Steals Patrol Car

I love cops, especially ones from The 909. They should invest in some better handcuffs:

RIALTO - A disabled man managed to escape arrest Tuesday by slipping out of his handcuffs and taking the patrol car officers had placed him in. Police continued searching Tuesday night for Phillip Anthony Moreno, 44, who uses a wheelchair. Moreno and his girlfriend Denise Marie Vasquez, 35, had been taken into custody about 3 p.m. by security officers at Home Depot after the couple tried to steal a handheld electric saw, police Sgt. Randy DeAnda said . . .

When officers arrived at Home Depot in the 1400 block of Foothill Avenue, they arrested Moreno and Vasquez and placed them in separate patrol cars. Moreno's wheelchair was placed in the trunk of the car he was in. Officers then walked a few feet away to search the couple's car. That's when Moreno pulled a Houdini act, sloughing off his handcuffs and crawling through the window in the security barrier that separates the front and back seats, DeAnda said. Moreno then used his good leg to speed away, DeAnda said.

If you see a one-legged man in a wheelchair roaming around San Bernadino County then please call the police. He's reported to be armed and dangerous (and quite crafty too).

Bush Blames Reagan For 9/11

He's getting really desperate, and I love it! From The Los Angeles Times via The Agonist:

President Bush said Thursday that mistakes made by three of his predecessors, including the Reagan administration's restraint after the 1983 bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon, had emboldened terrorists and helped set the stage for the Sept. 11 attacks.

Bush thinks Bonzo cut and run after the bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon? Reagan simply moved the Marines from Lebanon to Grenada. But Noonie no likie Bushie bashing Saint Wrongall Raygun.

Remember earlier this year when Bush blamed FDR for abandoning Eastern Europe to the communists? I'm sure that if George W. Bush was president in 1945 he would have taken on the entire Red Army after the Nazis fell. In fact, Chimpy McFlight Suit is so tough that he would have driven his presidential cod piece into Josef Stalin's skull. The article continues:

Bush said he was determined not to repeat the pattern by pulling U.S. troops out of Iraq before the insurgency there is contained and Iraqi forces are able to provide adequate security.

"To leave Iraq now would be to repeat the costly mistakes of the past that led to the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001," Bush said at the Pentagon after a briefing by Defense officials.

He might have failed history, but he received an A+ in Orwellian Rhetoric 101. What actually led to the attacks of 9/11 was the Reagan-Bush administration's funding of Osama bin Laden and the Afghan mujaheddin in the 1980s. Juan Cole summarizes it perfectly with Fisking The War on Terror. Maybe I should print that out and mail it to the White House.

Katrina, One Week Later

The chaos caused by Hurricane Katrina and the lack of federal response to the disaster has led to some interesting discourse as well as some strange politicking.  I'd like to give a quick wrap-up to some of these items.

Look what the Queen Mum had to say about hurricane victims who are finding refuge in Houston. Babs thinks that poor black people are not only scary but they are also opportunistic:

"What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality . . . And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them." 

I think it's fair to call George W. Bush a son of a bitch. Norm has the audio @ onegoodmove. Maybe we can ship both Babs and Pat Robertson off to the funny farm now?

I previously mentioned that according to the media, black people loot while white people borrow. Well, it appears that cops borrow as well. Check out this footage of cops borrowing merchandise at Wal-Mart.

Bill Clinton spoke out today on CNN about the lack of federal response to aid hurricane victims:

"Our government failed those people in the beginning, and I take it now there is no dispute about it," Clinton told CNN. "One hundred percent of the people recognize that -- that it was a failure." We've got the departments on the ground, we've got the military on the ground, we've got a chance to do it right now, and we should do it right," he said. "And then in an appropriate time we should analyze what went wrong and why and what changes should be made."

Say what you want about his extra-marital affair, but at least Clinton didn't cut funding and staff to FEMA for three straight years in a row like the Chimperor has. Thanks Dubya!

Republic of T notes that Al Gore was helping hurricane victims evacuate from New Orleans and flying them to his home state of Tennessee. He kept these actions under the radar without any fanfare unlike Bush's Friday photo-ops.

Last but not least, I recommend reading or watching Keith Olbermann's hard-hitting editorial from yesterday evening:

Mr. Bush has now twice insisted that, "we are not satisfied," with the response to the manifold tragedies along the Gulf Coast. I wonder which "we" he thinks he's speaking for on this point. Perhaps it's the administration, although we still don't know where some of them are. Anybody seen the Vice President lately? The man whose message this time last year was, 'I'll Protect You, The Other Guy Will Let You Die'?  I don't know which 'we' Mr. Bush meant . . .

For him, it is a shame — in all senses of the word. A few changes of pronouns in there, and he might not have looked so much like a 21st Century Marie Antoinette. All that was needed was just a quick "I'm not satisfied with my government's response." Instead of hiding behind phrases like "no one could have foreseen," had he only remembered Winston Churchill's quote from the 1930's. "The responsibility," of government, Churchill told the British Parliament "for the public safety is absolute and requires no mandate. It is in fact, the prime object for which governments come into existence."

Countdown is probably the only MSM show I watch occasionally, simply because Olbermann is not a right-wing wacko talking head like the rest of the pundits on CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc. Norm has the video and transcript here in case MSNBC decides to pull a Winston Smith and erase Olbermann's blog. There is video here also.

Got any interesting Katrina-related information? Send it along in the comments . . .

hurricane katrina katrina politics barbara bush bill clinton keith olbermann downing street memo

Your Dog Bit You Where?!?

Psycho dog with Napoleon complex + Frantic lady with foreign accent =

Must-see clip!

I'm not sure who is crazier. The dog or its owner.

Thank heavens Cairo is a happy and well-adjusted puppy.

Los Angeles County Gets Circumcised

I'm not sure if the following story is a bad case of political correctness or an exhibit of pro-family wingnuttery. But, the folks at the California State Fair in Sacramento have altered a map of Los Angeles County because critics thought it resembled a penis:

Visitors to the California State Fair may notice something peculiar about the map of Los Angeles County on display: It's no longer anatomically correct. Embarrassed by suggestions that the 3-D map resembles male genitalia, county officials this week ordered a small section near Malibu lopped off.

"We didn't want to offend the public," said Judy Hammond, the county's director of public affairs. "I know sex is a good advertising tool, but that's not really what we were going for."

The operation alters the shape of a large wooden box that stands at the entrance of the county's exhibit at the Cal Expo fairgrounds in Sacramento, which opened to the public on Friday. The box, in the shape of the county, is adorned with a heart as part of the county's exhibit theme: "We love L.A. County."

They had to chop off the city of Malibu in order to make it appear less phallic!

County officials said they had never considered the map anything but gender-neutral. But because "it's such a prominent part of our exhibit, we didn't want to detract from the rest of the display," Hammond said.

Now we are worried about the gender of counties? I would expect Governor Gropenfuhrer to celebrate this virile, masculine symbol of phallic power. I guess he was too busy filling his Potemkin potholes.

Try this. Take a look at the California state map. Doesn't the entire state look like a penis that curves to the right? Ooh, and what are those two holes which comprise the San Francisco Bay? Quick, better call James Dobson.

Donald Rumsfeld: Concert Promoter

Fresh off his debut at the Grand Ol Opry this past April, Donald Rumsfeld and the Pentagon will be promoting the "America Salutes You" country music fest to memorialize 9/11 and support the troops in combat. I know how strange it sounds but it is true. Will John Aschroft open this hoedown with "Let My Ego Soar"?

From The Age:

"This year the Department of Defence will initiate an America Supports Your Freedom Walk," Rumsfeld said, adding that the march would remind people of "the sacrifices of this generation and of each previous generation". The march will start at the Pentagon, where nearly 200 people died on September 11, 2001, and end at the National Mall with a show by country star Clint Black. Word of the event startled some observers. "I've never heard of such a thing," said John Pike, who has been a defence analyst in Washington for 25 years and runs GlobalSecurity.org.

The news also reignited debate and anger over linking September 11 with the war in Iraq. "That piece of it is disturbing since we all know now there was no connection," said Paul Rieckhoff, an Iraq veteran who heads Operation Truth, an anti-administration military booster. Rieckhoff suggested the event was an ill-conceived publicity stunt. "I think it's clear that their public opinion polls are in the toilet," he said.

Rumsfeld's march had some relatives of September 11 victims fuming. "How about telling Mr Rumsfeld to leave the memories of September 11 victims to the families?" said Monica Gabrielle, who lost her husband in the attacks.

Maybe Toby Keith will perform a song about how Saddam attacked the Twin Towers and the Pentagon on 9/11. Such a fine patriotic ditty would be a nice addition to the Official DOD 'War is Peace' Hoedown.

Just imagine if John Kerry was president, Bruce Springsteen and Dave Matthews would be playing this show, not Clint Black.

OTHER BLOGS: Watertiger, ever snarky, weighs in on the Freedom March. Steve Gillard says Clint Black should roast in hell for participating in the pro-war march.

MORE INFO: [Department of Defense]  [Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!]

technorati: donald rumsfeld music politics war freedom pentagon

Bicycling For Dummies

Ok. Bush must be drinking again. How else do you explain this (again!):

GLENEAGLES, Scotland -- President Bush collided yesterday with a local police officer and fell while riding a bike on the grounds of the Gleneagles golf resort, where the Group of Eight meeting is taking place.

Bush suffered scrapes on his hands and arms that required bandages, said a White House spokesman, Scott McClellan. The police officer was taken to a local hospital as a precaution, McClellan said. Police said the officer suffered a minor ankle injury. Light rain was falling at the time. The officer was on a security detail. He is a member of the police department of Strathclyde, a nearby town, McClellan said.

The president expressed concern about the officer's condition, and talked with him for some time after the collision, McClellan said. The president also asked the White House physician, Richard Tubb, to monitor the officer's condition at the hospital. The fall did not affect the president's schedule.

This scene is something out of European Vacation with Chevy Chase.

First, it was the Segway incident. Now this is the second bike accident President Bush has had. What's next? Will he pull a Gerald Ford and tumble out of Air Force One?    

           

The Alan Parsons Project?

Not only does the U.S. government have plans to build a Star Wars-style Death Star but they are now constructing a giant laser. Having thousands of nuclear bombs which could blow up the planet hundreds of times over is not enough to satisfy the insatiable Rumsfelds of the world. Now we need to have a laser that can simulate a nuclear bomb.

Did the energy department steal the plans from Dr. Evil's secret lair? From the comments at Adventures of The Smart Patrol I learned about the following story:

WASHINGTON - A giant laser being built to simulate the explosion of a hydrogen bomb is facing funding cuts in the Senate that supporters say could kill the project after $2.8 billion has been spent on it.

The device, which would focus 192 lasers at a single point to create a huge release of energy, is nearing completion at the Lawrence Livermore nuclear weapons lab in Northern California.

But a spending plan for energy and water projects approved Thursday by the Senate Appropriations Committee would shut off further construction money for the project, leaving it with just the four laser beams now in place.

What new ways of wasting our tax dollars will our government think of next?

Vladimir Putin, Kleptomaniac

Maybe he's a Patriot's fan? Full story at MSNBC:

BOSTON - Russian President Vladimir Putin walked off with New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s diamond-encrusted 2005 Super Bowl ring, but was it a generous gift or a very expensive international misunderstanding?

Following a meeting of American business executives and Putin at Konstantinovsky Palace near St. Petersburg on Saturday, Kraft showed the ring to Putin — who tried it on, put it in his pocket and left, said Russian news reports.

I always knew those Ruskies couldn't be trusted.

It's actually a common cultural tradition found throughout Russia and the Near East. If someone lets you hold their ring, watch, keepsake, or whatever the item may be, it is inferred that this item is a gift for the taking. Pootie was stoked that Kraft presented him a ring with 124 diamonds. Gerald Ford learned this tradition first-hand when Brezhnev gave him his hat at Vladivostok in 1974.

Regarding Russia, there's a good interview on Fresh Air with two American journalists who argue that President Putin is transforming Russia into an authoritarian state. Gorby disagrees with that sentiment as he recently came out in support of Pootie and his plans for crowning himself Tsar Vladimir next year.

The Story of the Century, The Interview of a Lifetime!

Katie Couric has conducted a once-in-a-lifetime interview. I've watched the promo on MSNBC all morning long for the following NBC News exclusive:

"Runaway bride," Jennifer Wilbanks talks for the first time about how she met her fiancé, John Mason, their wedding plans, why she disappeared and fabricated an abduction story before her wedding, her return home, and her recovery process. She also discusses for the first time some of the mysteries behind the saga, revealing to NBC’s Katie Couric that it was a "life or death" situation.

Life or death? Marrying some hokie Christian virgin guy was a life or death situation? Oh Jennifer, America is dying to know how you felt the night you ran away, why you fabricated an abduction story, and why your ultimate motivation for your madness was a television/book deal with Regan Media. Damn you, you filthy media whore!

What was that about some Iraq War memo thingy?

[sound of chirping crickets]