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December 05, 2005


LOL! I can think of lots of nominees, but I think I'd have to go with those who believe you are what you eat and abstain from imbibing any of them, lest their heinousness infect me.

My nominees would be Maria Muldaur for "Midnight At the Oasis" or that guy who sang "Seasons In the Sun". But I wouldn't want to absorb any of that cheesy badness, so I wouldn't eat either of them.

Wang Chung, but I'm not gonna eat 'em.

I vote for Ohio Express. Yummy Yummy Yummy I've Got Them in My Tummy.

Sting, of course.
His Post-Police years have chipped away at the edifice of culture. His instant elavator music crooning has certainly taken something away from me personally. I don't think I'll ever be the same after seeing him in that car commercial/video where he is whistfully staring off into the Morrocan desert--with that little fellow catterwalling in the background. Ouch. It's made me hurt all over again just thinking about it. He would be Eaten. (He's some sort of Vegan anyway isn't he?)

From a pure survival of the fitist standpoint, I would have to go with The Fat Boys or the Weather Girls.

Enough beef there to keep you full though winter.

elevator. sorry.

Or Toby Keith. I can't say he would be missed much by blue America.

No question: Journey. And yeah, they get eaten, obviously. Maybe by Gwar.

Kenny G - The great trivializer of jazz--y--sounding--elevator music and Paul Anka of "Having My Baby," fame. The Beastie Boys get to do the eating.

Britney Spears, post-pregnancy, when they's some meat on them bones. Ms. Spears-Federline has done more to promote the pre-teen whore culture than anyone else. Kudos to her, and prehaps I shall eat some Kudos granola snacks, after I am engorged upon her fleshy belly.

Remember sports fans ... you don't have to eat 'em yourself. Just imagine, say, Sir Elton John feasting upon the slightly-more-awful Peter Frampton. And no ... don't go there ...

I'm vegitarian- so I guess I am screwed- or left to eat bugs, leaves, and dirt. But I am offering up the First Class Compartment ( and rumor has it that some sort of Scuffle in 1st class led to the Crash): Yanni, Jessica & Nick-together again, Ryan Seacrest, Rush&Anorexic Daryn Kagyn (CNN),Bill O'Reilly (who demanded a window seat), Danny Bonaduci. There that is 6 for dinner....bon appetite....( gag... cough....)

ooops, I cheated- sorry I put Non Music people on the list....( and sorry about yanni- kind of redundant...)may I offer Bay City Rollers as an extra side dish....

I concur with PusBoy. In fact, let's get all those pop tart hoebags on that plane: Britney, Hillary Duff, Jessica Simpson especially, Ashley, and all of their wannabe spawn. And that guy who used to date Misha Barton. Oh, and Misha Barton too.

None of them will eat anyone, as they are deathly afraid of getting fat. So instead, they will starve and die, and then they will all be eaten by wild birds or coyotes or any other indigenous carnivore living by the crash site. All that will remain will be a pile of soiled Juicy Couture sweatsuits, Louis Vuitton luggage, and bejeweled T-mobile Sidekicks as artifacts. Or relics, depending on how you look at it.

I hesitate to include Christina Aguilera in this bunch because although she is at the height of sluttitude, girlfriend has the voice to back it up. All she needs is to fire her stylist and we'll be alright.

Jeez, Blogenfreude, you've brought out my malicious side. Yikes.

Jeez, Blogenfreude, you've brought out my malicious side. Yikes.
Malicious is the point ... these 'artists' have damaged the culture in ways (Journey) that cannot (Supertramp) be (Journey) calculated (Frampton). On this post, we must eat our (Phil) Collins.

Starland Vocal Band. Donnie & Marie. The Captain & Tenille. William Shatner (well, OK, he IS funny at least). Kelly Clarke. Celine Dion.

I would eat no one (yick), but I suspect Shatner would chow down on the lot of them.

Starland Vocal Band.
Oh so true ... "skyrockets in flight"? AAAAAHHHHHHH!
You rank me.

Scott Stap and all his former band mates in Creed. Wait, wait, could they be on the same plain with Nickleback?!

SOS:;;;;8:20 pm I having huge Blogger trouble- can't get on Blogger or to watergatesummer....Need help- Anyone else with Blogger- can you please let me know what to do.....deleted a bad comment earlier today and have not been able to get back on my blog....email:enigma4ever@earthlink.net, Thanks.....

Creed, Nickelback, any cock-rocker in general, the Rico Sauve guy, the Macarena Girls, KC and the Sunshine Band, Fred Durst, Britney and the other artificial ho-bags, John Tesh, every country singer who became popular after 1980, 50 Cent, Ja Rule, P Diddy (or whatever he's calling himself how)...

shit I could go on for hours

Clint "I sang at the Freedom March at the Pentagon" Black....and Charo....damn, the Comandante beat me to Tesh....Spice Girls ?...Foghat....Boy Bands: NSNYC..etc....( sorry- my son had some menu options he wanted to throw in there..)

I would like Abba to eat Ace of Base.

Wayne Newton gets eaten by Neil Young, Emmemin and Bruce Springstien for reasons both political and musical.

Courtney Love and Hole....anything Disco...Rick Springfield....Kathy Lee Gifford Regis Philbin ...Styx and friggin Roboto song ...Wacked Whitney and Bobby ...Billy Ray Cyrus ( My achy Braky heart).....the Liquor Carts would survive , right ???? okay now that I am totally nauseous I am going in search of dramamine and sleep...( thanks Blogenfruede- I am now going to sleep with with all these wretched songs in my head....oh well maybe it might cure my insomnia..)

Yawnie has put everyone to sleep for years. M

Oh for chrissakes, I'm getting a migraine here! The Starlight Vocal Band? Supertramp? Jessica Simpson? All worthy of being eaten.

But let's get serious, shall we? Let's have the passenger manifest of that doomed plane include Michael Flatley and his entire "Lord of the Dance" troupe (there's at least a week's worth of hearty eating), Celine Dion, Toby Keith, Jennifer Lopez's and P. Diddy's entire entourages combined, though they're no longer a "couple" (two more weeks of rations until help arrives), Ashlee and Nick "Simpson" (good fireside snacks), and all the members of Creed, the Backstreet Boys, and Poison left as gristle to keep the homefires burning until the rescue planes show up. As it happens, Liza and Cher are along, too, but unfortunately can't be burned due to the undue level of toxic chemicals, both internal and external, used to give each one the appearance of "life."

shit I could go on for hours
And remember, I think we've only got 707-ish number of seats.
Oh, and Christopher Cross.

No doubt, that prick Bob Carlisle who wrote the purely evil song "Butterfly Kisses".

While he definitely doesn't need to eat, I'd let everyone else eat him, then suck on his charred bones after his meatless corpse is burned in effigy.

Bobby Sherman, mainly due to that song we all know and hate from that small world in Disneyland.

Don't forget Pat Boone!!! He should be eaten by Meatloaf.

And chow down on Olivia Newton John for dessert. Come on, how many other divas' boyfriend drowned himself in the Pacific Ocean to escape her? She must be as nightmarish in person as she is on the ears.

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