THE WAR ON DUNKIN DONUTS!
Agitprop Asks - The Question of the Day
Yes sports fans, The Carlyle Group, peddler of death worldwide through its ownership of such fun-and-games outfits as United Defense and Qinetiq, is now angling to buy French-owned Dunkin Donuts.
The Question of the Day: What flavor donuts can we expect to see rolled out if Carlyle buys Dunkies? Even worse, what flavors would be sent to secret camps, never to be seen again? And will any of the new flavors be safe to eat? The current flavors are listed here.
EXTRA BONUS QoTD: Baskin Robbins would also be part of the deal ... new ice cream flavors? Perhaps "Baseball Wingnut" would replace Baseball Nut (a blogenfreude favorite).
PRIZES, we've got prizes! Best submission gets an Agitprop bumper sticker! Second place gets two stickers!
IS NOTHING SACRED????
And what do they want with Dunkin Donuts anyhow? NOOOOOOOOO!
Although I did read that Rumsfeld was a major force behind the production of fake-sweetener Equal. Creepy. (I'm a Splenda user myself.)
Posted by: Pepper | December 10, 2005 at 11:31 AM
Our favorites will be the blood filled crispi cremes M
Posted by: mandt | December 10, 2005 at 11:35 AM
Cruellers? Depleated Uranium Maple Bars?
Posted by: Robot Buddha | December 10, 2005 at 11:47 AM
I can sorta see this. Those donut holes can have a lot of potential uses.
Posted by: Abby Taylor | December 10, 2005 at 01:48 PM
I heard they'll still sell donut holes, but instead they'll call them "The Heads of the Evildoers."
And Baskin Robbins will create a new flavor of the month, "Toxic Gumbo," to commemorate the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Except no proceeds will go to the actual relief effort, natch.
Posted by: mags | December 10, 2005 at 01:53 PM
I know we will be very unhappy campers (when camping) if they do away with the chocolate frosted and cinnamon.
Posted by: Night Bird | December 10, 2005 at 02:01 PM
Iraqi-flavored doughnuts with creamy crude oil filling.
Posted by: marie antoinette | December 10, 2005 at 02:03 PM
And wait a minute ... if Dunkies is French-owned, how come they can't make a decent croissant?
Posted by: blogenfreude | December 10, 2005 at 02:04 PM
Funny how your "Shameless Commerce Division" is currently advertising donuts and ice cream.
Posted by: comandante agi | December 10, 2005 at 02:07 PM
Funny how your "Shameless Commerce Division" is currently advertising donuts and ice cream.
It sees you when you're sleeping!
It knows when you're awake!
Posted by: blogenfreude | December 10, 2005 at 02:11 PM
Comandante, you don't like donuts and ice cream??
Posted by: Night Bird | December 10, 2005 at 02:13 PM
I like them both. I'd really like to see a no-carb Baathist Hot Fudge Sundae.
Posted by: comandante agi | December 10, 2005 at 02:16 PM
How 'bout Consolidated Press Bavarian Facist Donut
Posted by: Fred | December 10, 2005 at 02:24 PM
How about I turn off the italics?
What italics? [ed.]
Posted by: Night Bird | December 10, 2005 at 02:31 PM
Change the name of the company to "Freedom Rings".
Posted by: Blueberry | December 10, 2005 at 03:00 PM
Napalm Nut.
Posted by: Missouri Mule | December 10, 2005 at 03:17 PM
Is "bullet holes" too harsh?
Posted by: Night Bird | December 10, 2005 at 04:25 PM
Chocolate Chalibi Fritters
Bradley Fighting Brownies
Extraordinary Rendition Coffee Rolls
Posted by: ascap_scab | December 10, 2005 at 08:39 PM
Maple Cluster Bombs!
Posted by: Matt_C | December 10, 2005 at 10:12 PM
Their first move? Insisting that Berliners always be placed "Back and to the left. Back and to the left," in the display case.
Posted by: Decker | December 10, 2005 at 10:43 PM
Hell man, don't you guys know nuttin? Caryle is planning to build their pipeline across Afghanastan out of the things. That way the heroin going down it will taste better.
Posted by: GRUMPY OLD MAN | December 11, 2005 at 03:11 AM
hey those look like krispy kreme donuts.....
Posted by: imgt | December 11, 2005 at 07:01 AM
Yellow Cake Donut!
Posted by: HelenWheels | December 11, 2005 at 08:54 AM
So now Dunkin Donuts moves off of the terrorist sympathizer's boycott list and onto ours.
Posted by: phinky | December 11, 2005 at 10:14 AM
Military-Industrial complex cruellers
Creme filled War Profiteers
We Love the War On Terraccino hot beverage, with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles
Posted by: maurinsky | December 11, 2005 at 08:02 PM
Mmmmm I'll take Petroleum Jelly Filled with Phosphorus Sprinkles please!
Posted by: Drew | December 12, 2005 at 06:15 AM
this is a joke right?
Posted by: danpositive | July 25, 2008 at 08:43 PM