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August 07, 2006

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Killing sheperds for not diapering goats. Shrubya has opened the gates of hell, and he's pushed the world in.

This sounds like a bar bet, right? "Two clerics get hammered at the old Bucket o' Brew. One says to the other, 'What's the dumbest fatwa you've ever issued?' 'I ordered Ahmed the grocer killed for fanning out his artichokes,' says the second, 'You?' 'That's awesomely dumb,' says the first cleric, 'But I've out-dumbed you by miles. First, I ordered shepherds to diaper their goats and I was so impressed they did it that I ordered killed shepherds who didn't. Yahtzee!' The first cleric is stunned, 'Really? Diapers on goats? I'm giddy with anticipation. What will you order next?' The second cleric rubs his hands together. He thinks, he smiles, "Taylor Hicks will be the new face of American music?'"

* shakes head in disgust *

Y'know, ol' Hop Kim down the block has his cucumbers laid out in such a way that my daughter might become sexually aroused...I mean, you know, if *I* noticed them, I can only imagine what a fevered teenager must feel, and while I *know* she's never had sex, I feel I must take action now to keep her on the straight and narrow...firebombing it is!

what's the punishment for squeezing the melons?

* blink * blink *

what's the punishment for squeezing the melons?

Posted by: Comandante Agi

She usually just slaps me really hard.

Actually, I can understand wanting goats diapered...you know, they faint so easily...

Those are the *special* goats. They come with *special* couches.

Isn't ther some way we can ship all the various religious nuts to some part of the world, like Antartica, where they can cover up each other and fight each other over silly little problems such as exist in their heads?

Those vegetables can be very enticing you know. They don't want to be corrupted like the evil Americans. And once a young person views a veggie with lust, well, they get ideas....

Wonder if Saddam would take his job back if we let him?

Don't you even consider polluting Antarctica like that! Think of the penguins (who probably need diapers)!

While over on our side they're continuing to pipe-bomb Planned Parenthood.

I wonder how severe the punishment would have been for the poor mook who had refused John Ashcroft's order to cover up the statue of Justice's jumblies?

Coming soon to a bookstore near you, promises to be the bestseller of 2006:

"My Pet Diapered Goat," by George W. Bush and Nouri al-Maliki

OK, Daniel Smith just fucking killed me. I don't often use this sort of acronymic webspeak, but I am, literally, ROTFL.

Cheating Is, is not Unacceptable!

I haven't been up to much lately. Eh. I just don't have anything to say right now. I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning. That's how it is. I haven't gotten anything done.

We are better off today than we were eight years ago

We are killing the rainforest

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