If it's not a parody, it's yet another sign our society is in rapid decline:
The Stone age is the prehistoric time before the Age of Metal. It is divided into two parts; Paleolithic and Neolithic. During the Paleolithic age, man harvested wild plants and animals for food. Agriculture began in the Neolithic age. The dates of the Stone age are debated. Biased historians often give older dates than can be proven by archaeology.
Damn those biased historians! There were too dinosaurs on Noah's Ark!
I do not sink "biased" means what zay sink eet means. Or "heestory."
Posted by: Tata | February 25, 2007 at 11:34 AM
Oh man. Also at the conservapedia they have an entry on the bible, and I quote:
"Accordingly, it is impossible to be certain which books of the Bible are truly canonical. However, it is certain that those books that are canonical, whichever they may be, are Divinely inspired and infallible."
They don't know which books are truly canonical, but whichever ones they are, they are CERTAIN that they are Divinely inspired and infallible.
Apparently conservapedia does not have the standards that wikipedia requires regarding the veracity of articles.
Or, as you pointed out, is conservapedia just an elaborate joke site?
Posted by: Dee | February 25, 2007 at 03:27 PM
I wonder whether anyone has ever done a good engineering analysis of the Ark? I found some back-of-the-envelope stuff, but nobody seems to have calculated precisely how much useable area there would be (Most sites just take the measurements without correcting for hull thickness, interior walls, structural supports, etc.
Of course, there's the age-old question: what did the animals eat after getting off the ark? There's a whole food chain to get restarted... and no plants for the herbivores and insects to eat, no insects for the insectivores, no prey animals for the carnivores...
Posted by: RepubAnon | February 25, 2007 at 11:40 PM
RepubAnon, all you have to do is open Genesis and - voila! reading is fundamental! - you develop lots more questions about the flood story, some of which are very impolite.
Posted by: Tata | February 26, 2007 at 05:30 AM
After all, didn't Dana Rohrabacher claim that global warming was created by dinosaur farts in the past????
Why would God not include them on the Ark????
Oh. Wait. Maybe that's why...
Posted by: actor212 | February 26, 2007 at 08:30 AM
Jesusistan sure has some quaint notions about things.
The irony is that Jesusistanis like the writers of this tale more or less prove evolution-by providing us with "missing links."
Posted by: JollyRoger | February 26, 2007 at 08:45 AM
Everyone knows that angels fired immense rays of light at the dinosaurs which prevented them from entering Noah's Ark. They were left behind on land and drowned in the great flood 5,000 years ago.
Posted by: Comandante Agi | February 26, 2007 at 08:48 AM
I swear, I cannot get that site to come up. I keep getting error pages. I have high-speed DSL; what gives? Do I have to peep it late at night or early morning or something? I feel like I'm really missing out!
Posted by: HelenWheels | February 26, 2007 at 04:48 PM
You dam librul bloggers have ruinated everything! My kid is trying to do a report on global warming, and we can't get a single page to load at conservapedia.
Posted by: Mr. Propellerhead | February 26, 2007 at 05:33 PM
Everyone knows that angels fired immense rays of light at the dinosaurs which prevented them from entering Noah's Ark. They were left behind on land and drowned in the great flood 5,000 years ago.
Posted by: Comandante Agi
No! That was the unicorns, at least according to the Irish Rovers!
(Look it up, kids, I don't have time to ground you in 60s culture)
Posted by: actor212 | February 26, 2007 at 05:54 PM
You can all laugh, but I'm getting my bunker ready for the rapture...
Posted by: Frederick | February 27, 2007 at 05:23 AM
I'm so happy you came across my entry for Dinosaur on Conservapedia. I have to ask, though was it the most recent entry (the one with a picture of Jesus riding his dinosaur) or one of the poorly edited ones before it?
Ken
Posted by: Ken | February 27, 2007 at 06:17 AM
Get the Impeach W postage stamp at http://cat.dmocrats.org
a widdle cat will lead them. just take a black ink pen and black out the letters you don't want to see on the stamp :)
Posted by: www.dmocrats.org | February 27, 2007 at 07:14 AM
Jesus didn't like dinosaurs because one of them took his head off when he tried to preach to them. At least that's what Eddie Izzard said.
Posted by: Ciarán | February 27, 2007 at 08:23 AM
Well I was going to help the Conservapedaists out by fixing the last sentence to read "Biased historians often give older dates that can be proven by archaeology.", but it seems they've closed off the site to new accounts. That's right, Conservapedia is now a closed wiki. I knew I should've created an account as soon as I heard about it. Oh well, too late now.
Posted by: scalefree | February 27, 2007 at 11:09 AM
Not only is it a closed wiki at this point it sure looks like it is a busted site.
I think they need something better than a Commodore 64 to host it.
Posted by: gleic | February 27, 2007 at 02:09 PM
You can all laugh, but I'm getting my bunker ready for the rapture...
Posted by: Frederick | 02/27/2007 at 08:23 AM
So are you thinking you are going to be Left Behind?
HelenWheels (nice name by the way), it took a LOOOONG time for the pages to load for me but it finally did load. And knowing me, I was probably on there in the late or wee hours so maybe traffic was somewhat lower at the site at that time.
Posted by: Dee | February 27, 2007 at 02:10 PM
This is an absolute gem:
Theocracy
"Government ruled by a divine means or by leaders considered to be divinely guided. Israel was a theocracy before King Saul.
Modern theocracies include Iran, Turkey, and Afghanistan prior to the ousting of the Taliban by the military of the United States of America. With any luck, a new modern theocracy will be established within the United States by the end of the decade."
While according to "Commandment 6":
"Do not post personal opinion on an encyclopedia entry."
But that wasn't an opinion, of course...
http://www.conservapedia.com/Theocracy
Posted by: Joe Max | March 01, 2007 at 11:37 PM
Well, goodness. I'm confused.
I thought that Conservatives and the religious-right were all for Bush's war on these theocratic countries as those countries are just evil and they are all out to wipe the US off the map so we gotta wipe them out first.
But it turns out the Conservatives actually want the US to be a theocracy like those countries. They must be looking forward to death by stoning for adulterers, and other criminals, and being able to openly declare that their wives are just property like their livestock and other possessions.
Posted by: Dee | March 02, 2007 at 03:03 PM