Just like B5, but better coiffed
While not busy challenging Phil Spector for most disgustingly re-inventive hair styles, Sanjaya Malakar likes destroying classic 1960s British Invasion tunes and bringing young girls to tears. Like my otra defeatist brothers, I am quick to malign the pseudo-democratic saccharine factory that is American Idol. But then I read this article which brought me renewed hope for the future...
The question tantalizes and terrorizes American Idol viewers: What if Sanjaya wins?... In the short run, his presence makes for spirited debate, but if Sanjaya Malakar, 17, is standing in the winner's circle, "it would destroy credibility the show's built up in the past five seasons," music consultant Tom Vickers says. "Instead of 30 million viewers a week, it might draw 20 million." A Sanjaya victory "will ruin the show," says fan Catherine Schloss of Folsom, Calif. "If he wins, I really don't think American Idol will be back."
That's it - a vote for Sanjaya is the only way to jam the system. Then again, a vote for Sanjaya could backfire and actually bring more attention and popularity to an already overhyped teevee show. Oh well, the five seconds of glee I gathered from the article was enough to get me through the rest of the day.
In other news, Pope BennieTheDick asserted that hell "really exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more". Yeah, I was wondering about that hell thing - glad he cleared that up for us. I hope they serve beer there.
x-posted at the defeatists!
This is what Democracy looks like!!!11!
Posted by: Frederick | March 28, 2007 at 09:41 AM
Vote for Sanjaya or the terrorists win. Hey, I cried when Sanjaya sang his version of "You Really Got Me" too.
But let us not dismiss CryingGrrl as some simple Sanjaya fangirl. CryingGrrl is, according to the background story, a Child of the Tear unparalleled in the hysteria of the lachrymose. CryingGrrl cries when someone adjusts the thermostat. CryingGrrl weeps bitter tears of sadness when the sky is grey and weeps again in joy when a bit o' blue pokes through. To CryingGrrl, all the world is wet and salty.
CryingGrrl illustrates the genius of the producers of American Idol, those clever nabobs of sickly sweet sentimentality, who spotted her in full cry on her way to another show and scooped her up before her tears were wasted on "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? And CryingGrrl will weep on in our hearts long after Sanjaya is busted on a morals charge in Pasadena for molesting eight year old boys.
Posted by: DBK | March 28, 2007 at 12:30 PM
Wait...so if I vote for arguably the worst performer on TV...I might bring the entire crappy concept of reality shows to a screeching halt?
What's it cost again?
Posted by: actor212 | March 28, 2007 at 12:48 PM
So far it's free, actor212. But I hear the producers are going to make it a ten cent charge soon so that the VotefortheWorst.com site and the organized effort to make the worst singer the winner doesn't win. If you want to spend a few dollars, go to IdolChat and buy their auto-dialer thingy that will enable you to vote many, many times without lifting too many fingers. That is the technology that has elevated Sanjaya to such heights despite the fact that: he has a thin, shitty voice, he can't interpret a song, he has no stage presence, and he has little talent.
The results show is tonight and I expect Sanjaya to return. I expect blogtopia to go crazy when he remains on the show.
And, as always, I expect that Crying Grrl will cry. If there were a write-in category for AI, I would write-in CryingGrrl. Long live CryingGrrl!
Posted by: DBK | March 28, 2007 at 01:06 PM
What is this "American Idol" you speak of?
Posted by: Fade | March 28, 2007 at 02:11 PM
Pope Benny should know, most of his predecesors are in Hell.
Posted by: mandt | March 28, 2007 at 02:33 PM
yes, actor212 - and I expect you all do your patriotic duty and vote Sanjaya - or else as DBK said, the terrorists will win.
Posted by: Comandante Agi | March 28, 2007 at 03:16 PM
I'm with Fade, sort of. In the 5 years Idol has been on, I think I've seen no more than 60 seconds of it. Yeah, I'm uncultured, but not ashamed in this case.
Posted by: SPIIDERWEB™ | March 28, 2007 at 05:17 PM
Man.... that guy looks like he's been through one of Electrode Al's Gitmo interrogation sessions.
Scary.
Posted by: JollyRoger | March 28, 2007 at 08:20 PM
Sanjaya is safe for another week.
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his heaven— All's right with the world!
Posted by: DBK | March 29, 2007 at 06:51 AM
Praise Jebus. We are safe from the terrorists for yet another day.
Posted by: Comandante Agi | March 29, 2007 at 08:12 PM
Thank you! Ever since one reviewer mentioned his "seven-braid mohawk", I've been looking for a picture. Totally strange.
Posted by: Miss Cellania | March 30, 2007 at 03:49 AM
I have been delirious with the flu since Monday, so I have missed all this ... so the little hack survived.
Posted by: blogenfreude | March 30, 2007 at 09:01 AM
I'm still confused...I vote for the brown person and the terrorists lose?
Wow. I may have to support Barack Osama.
Posted by: actor212 | March 30, 2007 at 09:25 AM
MSNBC christened this guy's do "The Fauxhawk". What a goofball!
Posted by: Kathy | March 30, 2007 at 03:40 PM
He wants to be the new Michael Jackson...Gawd only knows why.
Posted by: sumo | March 31, 2007 at 01:49 AM
But we're not done with the old Michael Jackson yet. Shit. Life in a consumer society. Just throw things away before you're done using them and get a new one. Just because the old Michael Jackson is a little tarnished, what with all that boy touching and all, is no reason to get a new boy toucher.
Posted by: DBK | April 03, 2007 at 09:20 AM
Um, not that I heard Sanjaya was a boy toucher or anything like that. That's just me busting on him, but I don't have any reason to believe he is anything but a nice kid with bad taste, a thin, mediocre voice, and the charisma of a shoe on the side of the road.
Posted by: DBK | April 03, 2007 at 09:27 AM