Blogging can be difficult. It’s not easy to find something to snark about in a world filled with war, death, and compasssionate conservatives eager to waterboard us.
Then, there are the days bloggers live for, like today. This morning I was listening to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, and they had a segment about the latest Paultard idea - gated communities filled with Paultards. How did I miss this?
At last, some cheering news for downhearted fans of Ron Paul, the libertarian Republican now certain to fail, by some distance, to secure his party’s presidential nomination. This month has seen the first meeting of the shareholders in a fledgling community development planned in rural Texas, to be comprised exclusively of Paul’s supporters. It is to be called Paulville.
The gated settlement will house freedom-loving folk, living unbound by the shackles of planning regulations. Its founders hope that when complete, it will inspire further Paulvilles around America and, in their own words, “literally change the world, one community at a time”.
More Paultard nonsense after the jump.
And since when do Paultards need permits?
At present the online chatter amongst prospective Paulville residents is of septic-tank permits. But when residents are settled into their new homes, it will surely turn to the right to wield semi-automatic weapons and the abolition of income tax.
I thought the Invisible Hand would get rid of the sewage. And won’t this be fun to watch? - everyone armed to the teeth, no stop signs, no traffic lights. I envision mini-compounds painted in garish colors, trash-filled yards, and lots of Burger Kings (”Have it your way!). Children drowning in swimming pools because no fence is required; houses burning to the ground because the right not to have a smoke detector will be protected (and besides, who needs building codes?); packs of dogs roaming the streets because there’s no leash law. If there’s an airport, there will be carnage as Paultards fight to land their planes first. Need an ambulance? Forget it - in Paulville, you have to drive yourself. Besides, the hospital will only accept gold futures as payment.
I have always favored fencing off Republicans and conservatives where they can be monitored. This is a good start.
I'm trying to feel a-pauled.
Posted by: mandt | April 27, 2008 at 12:17 PM
Hey, if they want to live apart from everyone else and kill each other, at least they won't be harming the rest of us.
I guess "getting along with others" was never really their thing.
Posted by: Magical Shrimp | April 27, 2008 at 01:04 PM
Semi-automatic weapons. SEMI??!! Real men go full auto batshit gun!!!!
If I want to kill a prowler, I don't want my finger to get tired, unless it's tired from holding the trigger down. NOT from repeatedly pulling the trigger.
These guys better get their shit together. Jeez.
Posted by: tafka pb | April 27, 2008 at 10:06 PM
They can name it "Deadwood."
Posted by: Blueberry | April 28, 2008 at 08:02 AM
"Real men go full auto batshit gun!!!!"
"I don't want my finger to get tired"
lmao! Real men can hit their target with the first shot!
Posted by: mel | April 28, 2008 at 08:49 AM
[Insert Plumbing-Related Invisible Hand/Visible Crack joke.]
Proceed!
Posted by: tata | April 28, 2008 at 10:19 AM
I don't know. Nothing good ever comes of compounds in rural Texas.
Posted by: Grace Nearing | April 28, 2008 at 04:56 PM
"I will never believe that you want to decide for yourself
What concentrations of chemical byproducts from local metalplating shops is safe for your household
AND the seismic standards for the bridges you cross
AND the optimal level of pesticides on the lettuce you eat
AND the proper response to the introduction
of West Nile disease into your county
AND I could go on forever.
You cannot make me believe that you want to deal with all of those personally.
megan, From the archives
Posted by: joel hanes | April 28, 2008 at 05:32 PM