Apparently Jenna Welch Bush has married Henry Chase Hager, a graduate student, former aide to Karl Rove, and son of a former Virginia lieutenant governor. One can only assume that they spent their wedding night attempting to procreate, which they will no doubt manage to do at some point. They will provide us with our next generation of rulers - mass-murdering, pasty-white, barely-intelligible conservatives that will somehow get elected to something in some red retard state, thus launching them on a trajectory to national office and continuation of George W. Bush’s war against all of us (especially brown people).
A tribute to Jenna after the jump.
Ah, the good old days, when all Jenna had to do was drink and try to remain upright. Remember the good old days?
June, 1997: [Texas governor] Bush signs law toughening penalties for underage drinkers.
December 31, 1997: Jenna Bush arrested on alcohol charge in Texas. Record is kept confidential as Jenna is 16 at the time, but her name appears in a Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission database.
April 27, 2001: Jenna Bush arrested for possession of alcohol as a minor.
May 31, 2001: Jenna and Barbara Bush arrested trying to purchase alcohol as minors. This is Jenna’s 3rd arrest, but she avoids the three-strikes law her father signed 4 years earlier.
Yeah, Jenna likes to drink. Let’s hope she doesn’t give birth to a fetal-alcohol-syndrome fuckwit like her grandmother.
Ladies and gentlemen, the next generation of overlords is on the way!
"Pasty-white, barely-intelligible"--never a finer summation of the post-Rovian breed.
Posted by: lisa | May 11, 2008 at 10:10 PM
You can take the blue blood out of Connecticut, but you can't lower their BAC in Texas.
Posted by: Frederick | May 12, 2008 at 04:15 AM
I eagerly await instructions from my new baby overlord.
Perhaps I can get a job in the diaper mines.
I'm sure I can simply pull myself up by my bootstraps, so that some day, I, too can marry the son of a lieutenant governor.
Or, at least I can get arrested a bunch without having to pay any consequences.
Oh, to dream the impossible dream.
See you in the camps.
Posted by: tafka pb | May 12, 2008 at 07:46 AM
The official American dream of working hard and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps has been replaced. In it's stead, we now give you be born into a wealthy family, party hardy until you find one of your own kind, marry, breed and have numerous discrete affairs while proselytizing the virtues of values to those over whom you hold dominion.
Posted by: Lew Scannon | May 13, 2008 at 07:16 PM
Lew: Done and done!
Posted by: tafka pb | May 13, 2008 at 07:20 PM
Oh No Mr. Bill!!! I'm going into a fetal position!
Posted by: mandt | May 14, 2008 at 07:35 AM
Great minds think alike.
I just posted another review of Jenna's wedding over at my crib.
Loved the photo of Jenna horizontally hugging her gal pal.
I live in Texas, where Jenna used to be famous for doing body shots off the shoulders of attractive young lesbians in Austin gay bars.
But, like many Republicans, now she's pretending to be straight and she'll have to do all the gay stuff in privacy.
Fortunately, she has her saggy old butch Grandma Barbara to give her some pointers.
:)
Posted by: KarenZipdrive | May 16, 2008 at 07:19 AM
Whoomp! There it is! The reason the American Empire is falling. Our current ruling class is the net result of years and years of inbreeding.Think of the country folk Burt Reynolds encountered in the movie "Deliverance". Of course, that is a relatively large gene pool compared to our Washington elites, but what do you expect with the likes of Karl Rove in its gene pool. Just looking at the guy gives me the creepy crawlies. I wonder what percentage of the US ruling elite is hemophiliac? Our elites live in a cocoon. I note here how "Dubaya" was surprised at the recent price of gas. Only source of comfort: the elites can bring US down, but THEY are going down the tubes with us. They don't believe this, but it is true.
Posted by: Paul S | May 16, 2008 at 10:41 PM
the story and the comments are classic
i am ROFLMAO
Posted by: distributorcap | May 17, 2008 at 03:15 PM