Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the average Palin supporter:
A speeding truck rammed a woman’s sedan at over 100 MPH on a Texas freeway last Friday. Why? According to the Archangel Gabriel/ Michael E. Schwab, a resident of Blooming Grove, Texas, the woman “was not driving like a Christian.”
What - she wasn’t signaling in tongues?
Schwab failed to explain what the woman had done to prompt the Lord’s wrath and investigators have since determined that she violated no traffic laws. She was driving North on highway 281 when Schwab struck the rear of her sedan. The impact spun both vehicles across the median before being brought to a halt by the barrier on the far side of the south bound lanes. Neither party was seriously injured by the accident, although both vehicles appear to be totaled.
Describing the accident, Lt. Kyle Coleman of the Bexar County Sheriff’s Department said, “He just said God said she wasn’t driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road.” According to a release issued by the department, Schwab told police “the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.” It was Schwab who told the police that he was traveling over 100 MPH at the time of the impact.
Why is my country filled with these dumbshits?
Schwab has since been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, been placed under a $50,000 bond and will now face a psychological evaluation.
“God must have been with them, ’cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal,” said Lt. Coleman. [via My San Antonio]
Next time the South wants to secede, I say we let ‘em.
Note to Lt. Coleman: when being interviewed about a crime committed by a delusional jackass who said "God told me to do it," saying yourself that "God must have been with them" isn't really the best comment to make.
Posted by: Magical Shrimp | December 04, 2008 at 11:52 AM
If there was a God, Texas would secede from the union and good riddance!
Posted by: mandt | December 04, 2008 at 12:04 PM
Perhaps Lt. Coleman might have checked Mr. Schwab for the first sign of the Lord's deliverance in those parts; the holy word of Jack Daniels. Jesus is known to speak through that particular "person" often in those parts of Texas.
Posted by: electrolite | December 04, 2008 at 06:31 PM
You ask why this country is filled with dumbshits... perhaps it is because they think that as long as they are attacking people of faith, they can say any stupid shit that comes to mind with impunity.
The "average" person who disagrees with your political opinions must be a maniac with roadrage? Yeah, dumbshit indeed.
Posted by: Christina Martin | December 07, 2008 at 12:38 PM
A "person of faith" was the one both doing the attacking AND being a dumbshit in this story, hon. With his car. What we're doing is called "commenting" and "using humour." I think you got confuzified.
Posted by: Magical Shrimp | December 08, 2008 at 04:27 PM
Попутчик:
какое хорошее имя.
какая хорошая веб-страница.
Posted by: Ирогь | December 11, 2008 at 08:37 AM
"You ask why this country is filled with dumbshits... perhaps it is because they think that as long as they are attacking people of faith, they can say any stupid shit that comes to mind with impunity."
That's apparently your approach to defending people of faith, so perhaps there's something in what you say.
Posted by: me | December 13, 2008 at 09:35 AM
"You ask why this country is filled with dumbshits... perhaps it is because they think that as long as they are attacking people of faith, they can say any stupid shit that comes to mind with impunity."
That's apparently your approach to defending people of faith, so perhaps there's something in what you say.
Posted by: me | December 13, 2008 at 09:40 AM