Agitprop: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Propaganda

The Aspens Rust in Clusters

RIP Chrysler.  Sure it’s just Chapter 11, but it will never be the same.

Now bring on the Fiat 500s!

Chrysler Officially Files for Bankruptcy, to Partner with Fiat [Jalopnik]

Swine flu: topicality and cultural touchstones

My post the other day used a clip from MST3K, and I found out that not everyone instantly recognized and celebrated the artistic North Star of goodness that was JOEL MST3K (cause MIKE MST3K sucked, trust me).

(Morrissey, before you were born, was in a band called The Smiths.)

Youngsters, the youtube two above is the (best since Monty Python) sketch comedy troupe Kids in the Hall. It's another cultural touchstone I refer to instinctively and often at my place that I assume everyone reading me knows. I'll need to remember how old I am when writing here.

Monty Python?

They were your grandparents' comedy troupe.

If The Children Forget, The Terrorists Win

Your tax dollars at work...the competent folks at FEMA care so deeply about TheChildrenTM that in addition to their crunk disaster jam they also released a coloring book to help kids cope with disasters. I took the liberty of completing one of the pages above. If you feel so inclined to do some coloring yourself, please share your work with a link in the comments. 

It's Getting Better All The Time

Here is some comedy gold from the highest rated news entertainment network in our United States. I really enjoy how anti-establishment they have become. Only a few months ago they were pitching - and catching - for the establishment.

Now that's change we can believe in.

Blizzard of IOZ

Yearly Kos is going to Pittsburgh this year. We at Agitprop are pleased to officially announce the possible consideration of maybe establishing a preliminary exploratory committee to raise the $275 registration fee, and to cajole Pittsburgh denizen, and proprietor of the web log Who is IOZ?, IOZ, to attend the convention and carry out some internet age gonzo journalism.

I'm ready to pitch in a few bucks. What about you guys?

"Four dollars here... almost five."

"I got eighteen dollars, Dude."

"What's mine is mine."

Awww. Come on, Walter!

Foxx News Alert: Matthew Shepard a Hoax!

Ladies and Gentleman, Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC):

“I also would like to point out that there was a bill -- the hate crimes bill that's called the Matthew Shepard bill is named after a very unfortunate incident that happened where a young man was killed, but we know that that young man was killed in the commitment of a robbery. It wasn't because he was gay...

"This -- the bill was named for him, hate crimes bill was named for him, but it's really a hoax that that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills.

And that concludes your quote of the day.

An Inordinately High Proportion of Songs About "Bitches"

[What is the protocol around here for burying two posts that only just appeared at the top of the page in the time since I started composing this post? With apologies, be sure to see Agi's All Your Carbon Are Belong To Us and Mike's If A Senator Switched Parties And No One Cared Would It Make A Difference? below.]

This is probably going to blow any street cred I may have had with this crowd, but I went to a Ben Folds concert last night. Went with my dad, who I had put on to Ben Folds Five 11 or 12 years ago. He's been following Folds since, though I have not. But he asked me to go. So I went. It was good. Dude can fucking shred on the piano. And the band was tight. Piano -- bass -- drums -- one guy who played synthesizers, horns, xylophone and other percussion instruments -- and another percussionist who was the best tambourine player I have ever witnessed, and could kick Will Ferrell's ass at cowbell any day. (Folds actually had him take a cowbell solo at one point.)

A highlight for me was a song introduced as one of a group of intentionally shitty tracks leaked on the internet as a gag prior to the release of one of their albums.

The Bitch Went Nuts


Even more highlighty, here is what can happen when you jam a couple of Altoids tins in a grand piano and play it through a distortion pedal.

Free Coffee


They didn't do a whole lot of Ben Folds Five stuff, so aside from two covers of fake doctors (Dr. Dre and Dr. Hook,) I was hearing most of the songs cold, without having heard them before, and it was still a great show.

Caption This #1

All Your Carbon Are Belong To Us

Evil carbon lurks everywhere throughout the atmosphere - even within the cells of every living thing! Oh noes, we gotta do something!?!

Do not fear, Cap'n Trade is here! If Congress doesn't pass legislation to save the planet, the Cap'n and his scientists at the EPA are going to raise taxes on corporations! In other words, the Obama Administration and the EPA are determined to destroy The United States of America as we know it:

 "This is the largest assault on democracy and freedom in this country that I have ever experienced," Rep. John Shimkus (R-Ill.) said at an Energy and Commerce Committee hearing last week, adding that he feared the cap-and-trade proposal more than the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks and former President Clinton's impeachment trial.

Rep. Shimkus forgot to add...worse than the Fox Network's early cancellation of Arrested Development and worse than Barcelona defeating Arsenal in the 2006 UEFA Champions League Final.

Aah, it's just another squishy totalitarian solution that will one day bring us environmentally sustainable warfare. 

If A Senator Switched Parties And No One Cared Would It Make A Difference?

I've been swamped, crushed, buried, and overwhelmed at work lately.  But I have a job, so trust me, I ain't complaining.  I'm also a bit numbed by the constant barrage of lies and stupidity of Obama's Crack (-smoking) Economic Team.  Add to that living within a couple miles of the United States' swine flu ground zero, and I'm at a bit of a loss to rev up my usual outrage & commentary. 

And then along comes the news that Arlen Spector is switching parties!  "Yea," the hopeful masses shout, "we is saved!"  Apparently the fact that the Dems -- who already have a sizable Senate majority yet have done nothing of consequence except shovel money to the world's largest banks, and send the exhausted troops from Iraq over to Afghanistan -- may now have a non-Constitutionally-significant super-majority of 60 is gonna save us from cynical leadership, cronyism, and incompetence.

Well, count me among those who couldn't give a shit.  First of all, note the word "may" above.  Unless Al Franken final wins his never-ending election battle against Norm Coleman, it'll be 59.  And that also assumes no Dem goes over to the GOP.

It also ignores the fact that because of weak leadership (looking at you, Harry), cynical party policies (looking at you, Barry), and a crew of 59 clumsy, foolish, & self-serving legislators (looking at you, Mo, Curly, & Larry), the Dems haven't been able to accomplish a damn thing.

Why the hell does anyone suddenly assume that because the Dems can defeat the GOPers threatened (but not to my knowledge, never implemented) filibusters, they will?  Because Snarlin' Arlen is suddenly on-board they're gonna grow a pair?  Now they'll fight?  Hmmm.

And most importantly, assuming this exciting super-majority leads to a spate of affirmative legislation, so what?  I repeat what I've said over-and-over:  it doesn't matter.  There's been no substantive change of policy from the last administration to this one, and no change in legislative direction since the election of 2006.  And there won't be, whether we have 59 Dem Senators, or 60 or 75 or 100.  The follow the money.  Their masters.  The real policy-makers.  And that ain;t us, folks.

Before people get their panties in a twist, let me say, yes, there are a few subtle distinctions between the parties.  Similarly, a rabid crocodile and a polar bear with a bad case of jock itch are different.  One will maul you while the other spins around and rends your flesh from your bones.  They. Are. Different.

But they're both pretty undesirable outcomes, no?  This Arlen Specter switch-a-roo means nothing.  Well . . . almost nothing.

Because Spector is up for re-election in 2010.  In a country that voted Dem in 2006, and elected a Dem prez in 2008.  In a state that went for Obama last November.  Perhaps this move does mean something. 

(Cross-posted at Mike's Neighborhood)

Pleased To Meet Ya!

Or There Goes The Neighborhood! This is The CultureGhost speaking...This is my introduction to those last few readers of AgitProp...who will probably flee knowing that Comandante Agi invited on board to this cruise of the blogosphere.  I've know Agi for quite some time now and have even met him in person, so we have proof of each other's existence. I've worked with him over at The Guys From Area 51 for over a year and half now where we've managed to alienate even the most tolerant of readers.  My principal residence is The CultureGhost where I have largely abandoned politics in favor of my art work (PhotoShop creations and photographs) and my health condition, though I am getting really bored with the latter.

I am delighted to be included in this quite eclectic crew Agi has assembled.  May we make blogosphere history or at the very least amuse the hell out of ourselves!

Some Semi-Good News From My 'Hood

Orange County GOP darling Mike "America's Sheriff" Corona was sentenced to 5 1/2 years for witness tampering. In January, he was miraculously acquitted on the more serious charge of conspiracy, and squeaked by with a guilty verdict on witness tampering only.

Sure, he'll probably kick back in Martha Stewart jail with a putting green and satellite TV for a few years and then get an early release for good behavior, but it's better than being free to hang out with mobsters at the Balboa Bay Club.

THERE ARE FEW SIGHTS IN NATURE AS BEAUTIFUL AS A PLUMP MEMBER OF THE CARTHARDAE FAMILY PULLING A SINEWY STRING OF FETID MEAT OFF A WEEK-DEAD THOMPSONS GAZELLE

A typical progressive blegger's predictable snap on the corpse of rump-Republicans:

If the GOP were a credible and competitive national party, leaving things as-is might be a sensible approach. But given reality, it's hardly a recipe for success.

Gets old, yes, it's my schtick too, eating not only fetid but regurgitated fetid pig meat, but if pigflu goes deadly pandemic, holy shit, someone who'd buy this license plate (h/t)

(btw, real face of Jesus) , will be literally ecstatic (and armed). Which fulfills all our apocalyptic prophecies too, yorubes.

Economic Disease Control

I thought "the Swine Flu" was a description of the day Geithner, Summers, and Bernanke resigned their positions and left town.

(Cross-posted at Mike's Neighborhood.)

RIP Pontiac

Because none of you bothered to get up off your asses and buy a Solstice or a G8, GM's "excitement" division will go the way of Oldsmobile and Plymouth:

Pontiac is a brand of automobiles produced since 1926 and sold in the United States, Canada and Mexico by General Motors (GM), marketed as an "athletic" brand specializing in mainstream performance vehicles. On April 27, 2009, amid ongoing financial problems and restructuring efforts, GM announced that it would phase out the Pontiac brand by the end of 2010 and focus on four core brands in the U.S.: Chevrolet, Cadillac, Buick, and GMC.^[1]

In my opinion it was badge-engineering that killed Pontiac (An Impala is a Catalina is an Olds 88 is a Lesabre is a Sedan de Ville). Why buy a car from Pontiac if Chevy offered the same car for less money?
 

Obama's First 100 Days

 

Just ridin' the waves. Upon dolphins.

After all, playing it cool is his style, no?

Arbitrary measurements aside, what do you - not THEM - think about the Obama Administration so far?

Me - I'm still waiting for my personal bailout check. And I bet Mr. Fundamental is disappointed that he didn't get his pony.

When The Going Gets Tough, Americans Go Shopping?

Last week I received the following email.

Subject: CELEBRATE EARTH DAY

APRIL 22, 2009
Buy yourself a Motorola ReNew

The Motorola W233 Renew offers an easy way to help you proactively protect the planet without compromising the quality of your phone. Exclusively from T-Mobile, the environmentally responsible Motorola W233 Renew is uniquely designed to reduce environmental impact by using sustainable materials in its design and packaging while at the same time delivering performance and quality customers rely on. Minimizing its carbon footprint through energy, transportation and material efficiencies, the Motorola W233 Renew does its part reduce its climate impact.

Really? How in Mithra's name is a buying a new cell phone going to save the planet? The most environmentally responsible thing to do would be to use your current cell phone until it craps out beyond repair. Just think how much energy was exhausted in the Motorola plant to build the millions of W233 Renews that are being scattered across the planet. And how exactly does sending my old cell phone to the landfill reduce environmental impact?

Jesus Died So You Could Pursue Higher Education

One of mi esposa's guilty pleasures is surfing the rants and personals sections of Craiglist. The missed connections is always good for a laugh.

The other day she found this seemingly sincere cry of frustration in the rant section. It's by an 18-year old who lacks a job and direction in her life - and is considering nude housekeeping to make a living.

Most folks chimed in with the usual and expected "keep yer head up" response. But the following reply stood out: 

Sounds to me like you are a little depressed about your life and job situation??? Well, here's a little hope for you. Go down to the local community college and get in to talk with a counselor. Tell them your history and tell them you would "like to become employable quickly". They will design a path for you to follow, and they can point you towards "financial aid".

You see, our creator, God, sent the ultimate counselor into my life many years ago; His name: Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you soooo much that he died a horrible death to save you. Now, it's your turn to show some initiative.

Dang. My high school counselors never died for me, let alone got a paper cut when handing out college brochures. I'm kinda jealous that this Jesus guy didn't work at my school.

My Turn

When Agi asked me if I'd be interested in contributing to AGITPROP - Agi whom I blegwhored into reading BLCKDGRD by faking a passion for soccer - Soccer! - and especially the English League of Barclays - I was flattered and grateful (truly) between cackles at what a maroon Agi is to fall for my bulllshit.

My visceral reaction was DON'T DO IT! I asked my bestfriend and he said DON'T DO IT! I asked two blegfriends and both said DON'T DO IT! Thus this post.

I too started blegging, me in 2003, for BDS pressure-relief. I'm struggling to engage my Obama Derangement Syndrome because I'm a fucking rube defending the Island of Better Less-Shittythan. I hoping that shit can be kicked out of me here, plus I'm hoping to develop new ways of blegging: I don't want to do here what I do at my place, I don't want to use my own private code and reduce all events in the world to metaphors of my relationship with blegging, I.... I don't want to bleg where all my posts pivot around a silly-ass Star Trek allusion.

 

This hasn't worked out at all.

Planting Seeds

The warning stickers on my pool are so punk rock:


Yeah, I've got my own little parcel of White Trash Heaven right here on Earth. But it's classy when I do my best William Buckley Jr. impression and say things like, "You simply must stop by. We'll be out sipping Mimosas on the deck by the above ground. Jeeves will show you around."

Anyway, we're rocking the weather faded danger stickers, minus anything that was printed in red: the circles with "do not do" slashes and the actual WARNING/DANGER titles. "It's like an advertisement for death," my 10 year old daughter gleefully points out. Yes. We invite you: jump, dive. Knock yourself out. (Quite possibly literally.) Permanent injury or death may result.

Next time some intellectually defective yahoo, who thinks it's a good idea to dive into a 52 inch deep pool, does us the favor of carrying out his plan, who's pockets will be deep enough to cover the lawsuit? Probably not the cut rate, subcontract warning sticker supplier. Now that's punk rock.

So, what do people think? Should I put in a 10 meter diving platform or what?

AGI'S UNCONSCIONABLE, FOOLISH, MISGUIDED, AND THOROUGHLY QUESTIONABLE DECISION (AKA, HI)

Our good friend, Comandante Agi has decided to ruin his recent re-takeover of this otherwise successful blog by tarnishing it with the presence of someone so unpleasant, so contrarian & argumentative -- uh, that'd be me -- that it can't accomplish anything but drive away 45% of his readers overnight.

But what the hell, this place has an anarchistic, libertarianish bent, so if he wants to ruin things, that's his business, right?

Anyhow, for those of you who don't know me, I've been poisoning the blogosphere with my angry rantings and barely-funny attempts at humor for three years at Mike's Neighborhood.  I used to write about movies and baseball along with the standard snarky attacks on Bush & Cheney & the rest of the rotton gang. 

But that was then.

Like Agi & Montag, I choose not to look backward and scream to the heavens about all the rancid shit the last administration did.  I choose, instead, to level my twin barrels of cynicism and skepticism at the current administration.  Lately, I've pretty much posted on nothing but the economic disaster and the insider shenanigans of Obama's boys, Geithner & Summers, along with Bernanke.  If you don't care about that stuff, you won't like the last 8 months of my blog.  Or the months to come, because that's what I'm gonna continue discussing.     

So there you have it.   A typically long-winded (and self-absorbed) way of saying "hello," all the while imagining that anyone actually cares what I think or say.  See you with something of substance soon.

Greetings, Earthlings

Hi there. I'm new 'round these parts. Thanks to Agi for the invite. Like Agi, I have been "blogging" since 2004, at the little known Stump Lane, and the slightly less little known I Like Pie, Spot! (formerly I Miss Fafblog, Spot!) Like Agi, I started out in Bush Derangement. And like Agi, have evolved -- or devolved -- into something else altogether.

Rather than boring you by rambling on and on, I'll say it with this bumper sticker I just made up:


Because if your personal philosophy can't fit on a bumper sticker, you're just showing off.

Silly Wabbit, Corporations are People!

The latest from Joe Bageant:

This financialization of our consciousness under American style capitalism has become all we know. That's why we fear its loss. Hence the bailouts of the thousands of "zombie banks," dead but still walking, thanks to the people's taxpayer offerings to the money god so that banks will not die. We believe that we dare not let corporations die. Corporations feed us. They entertain us. Corporations occupy one full half of our waking hours of our lives, through employment, either directly or indirectly. They heal us when we are sick. So it's easy to see why the corporations feel like a friendly benevolent entity in the larger American consciousness.

Corporations are, of course, deathless and faceless machines, and have no soul or human emotions. That we look to them for so much makes us a corporate cult, and makes corporations a fetish of our culture. Yet to us, they are like the weather just there.

And who knew? There are folks trying to revoke corporate personhood.

Good luck on that.

God Damn This Gets Me Pumped

Holy shit, the preacher is an Autobot!

Coming Back Home

I have done the unthinkable. After four years, I have returned to the monster I created and unleashed onto the intertubes. Blogenfreude has passed back the torch as he settles in to his new home at Stinque.

Therefore, this concludes Blogenfreude's long, faithful tenure at the helm of Agitprop as I re-launch a brand I started in 2004. Some of you may not remember me back then, but I was lost in the throes of Bush Derangement SyndromeTM and created this blog as an outlet for my frustration. I have evolved much since then. So this ain't the same Agi you knew and loved (or didn't know and don't care). I've only grown more cynical towards politics - and decided to embrace all the confusing, maddening yet glorious machinations of the spectacle.

So, I hope you will all come along for the ride. There will be a few changes as we get moving, with a few new comrades jumping on board. Sit back and enjoy.