One of mi esposa's guilty pleasures is surfing the rants and personals sections of Craiglist. The missed connections is always good for a laugh.
The other day she found this seemingly sincere cry of frustration in the rant section. It's by an 18-year old who lacks a job and direction in her life - and is considering nude housekeeping to make a living.
Most folks chimed in with the usual and expected "keep yer head up" response. But the following reply stood out:
Sounds to me like you are a little depressed about your life and job situation??? Well, here's a little hope for you. Go down to the local community college and get in to talk with a counselor. Tell them your history and tell them you would "like to become employable quickly". They will design a path for you to follow, and they can point you towards "financial aid".
You see, our creator, God, sent the ultimate counselor into my life many years ago; His name: Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you soooo much that he died a horrible death to save you. Now, it's your turn to show some initiative.
You see, our creator, God, sent the ultimate counselor into my life many years ago; His name: Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you soooo much that he died a horrible death to save you. Now, it's your turn to show some initiative.
Dang. My high school counselors never died for me, let alone got a paper cut when handing out college brochures. I'm kinda jealous that this Jesus guy didn't work at my school.
So, according to fundamentalists, Jesus, up in heaven, watching fornicators copulate, so he can ascertain whether to make them a baby or not,also installs a career performance chip in them so when they're born, they can follow a corporocratic path when they are finally born into the sin for which he died. Wouldn't that make a higher education a God-given right? If so, then why do so many conservatives fight against any educational funding at all?
Posted by: LewScannon | April 26, 2009 at 09:54 AM
Maybe Jesus can talk to Sallie Mae for me and tell the bitch that I CAN'T FUCKING AFFORD THE PAYMENTS!
Posted by: blogenfreude | April 26, 2009 at 01:28 PM
Oh this is going to be so much fun...let the good times roll!
Posted by: The CultureGhost | April 26, 2009 at 02:59 PM
not only young women considering nude housekeeping, but all ye underachievers, thou hast pissed off THE LORD.
Posted by: Montag | April 26, 2009 at 07:50 PM
Maybe Jesus can talk to Sallie Mae for me and tell the bitch that I CAN'T FUCKING AFFORD THE PAYMENTS!
Clearly you've never heard of the Seven Times Seven Year Jubilee.
The last one was in 2000. You can wait until 2049 and then ask Jesus to walk you through a reorganization.
Posted by: actor212 | April 27, 2009 at 09:02 AM
Interesting! Maybe I could do my bit for faith by trying nude housekeeping and scare the Be-Jesus outta folks.
Posted by: mandt | April 27, 2009 at 09:43 AM