Alas, A Discovery

Newt Gingrich, speaking at the "Rediscovering God in America" conference:

I am not a citizen of the world. I am a citizen of the United States because only in the United States does citizenship start with our creator. [...] I think this is one of the most critical moments in American history. We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism.

Here I thought citizenship started with birthright. For Gingrich and his God Rediscovery Team believing in the Judeo-Christian creator/father god should be a litmus test for citizenship.

Pagans? I thought we surround them? And who is them?!?

Cuban spies? "Reality" TV Stars? The kung fu mafia? The hipster mafia?

I give up. The pagans have already won.

Comments

[Capt. Bat Guano]

It's like these fuckin' Goopers are holding an internal contest to see who can become
the most irrelevant first. I say good on 'em.

[HelenWheels]

Whoa. That's some serious delusion there.

[The CultureGhost]

This country really has gone batshit. Even during the worst of my drinking and drugging, at least some of this shit made sense. I've been sober some 17 or so years now and none of this shit makes sense any more.

[LewScannon]

Please. If the Pagans outnumbered the Christians, Newt and the rest of the GOP would be pandering to them in a heartbeat.

[BDR]

It's the happiest days of their lives, you know.

[Professor Frink]

Those 'Teabagging' parties seemd a bit panganistic to me.
All Newt was missing was his goat head and rattle.

[Thomas Daulton]

Hmmmmm, let me get this straight. Marriage must be between a man and a woman, even if they happen to be sterile, because marriage must at least retain the symbolism of being about reproduction. Except between blood relatives, who could actually have children, but shouldn't. Meanwhile citizenship must be based on religion, even though atheists can be citizens, but we must at least maintain the charade that the Founding Fathers were religious stalwarts who wanted God united with government, rather than, say, victims of religious persecution at government hands.
I think the basic problem here is one of preferring to enforce symbolism literally, rather than deal with reality. Sums up the conservative movement, I suppose.