Agitprop: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Propaganda

RIP

Damn.

And yet Dick Cheney still walks the earth.

We Are So Screwed

Lots of YouTube research today. George Carlin is irreplaceable, and our species will get dumber faster now that he's gone.  I got nuthin' .... I won't link, but if you want to be disgusted you can Google "Ron Paul George Carlin" and find a video some Paultards put together - they think Carlin's comedy endorsed Ron Paul.  George Carlin would have kicked Ron Paul in the balls before beating him senseless with a baseball bat.

Name that sandwich

And who did what in Brian Glazer's hair?  Don't answer that.

Land of the Free, Home of the Five Dollar Mocha

I used to work on New York Avenue in DC. From the Starbucks near my office you could see two more. If you walked a block east and looked north, you could see yet a fourth store.

But Starbucks’ glory days, at least here in Amurrica, are over:

From the WSJ: Starbucks to Cut U.S. Store Growth But Plans to Accelerate Overseas

Starbucks Corp. plans to drastically reduce the number of stores it builds in the U.S. over the next three years …

Starbucks said Wednesday that this year, it plans to open 1,020 locations in the U.S., down from the 1,175 that it had planned for as of January. But over the next three years, Starbucks plans to cut that number by more than half, opening less than 400 net new locations per year in the U.S.

As my favorite financial bloggers say: “We are all subprime now.”

Starbucks Cuts U.S. Growth Plans [Calculated Risk]

Ladykiller

Pope sparks abortion controversy in Brazil
Excommunication mooted for lawmakers
One million Catholics expected at open air mass
Tom Phillips in Rio de Janeiro
Thursday May 10, 2007
The Guardian

Pope Benedict XVI touched down in the world's biggest Roman Catholic country yesterday hoping to help reverse a 20-year exodus to Brazil's reborn evangelical churches, but immediately created controversy when he appeared to suggest that legislators who support laws allowing abortions should be excommunicated.

-Man, when do I get to oppress up against some women like that?!

You Alone Have the Power

   

Just like B5, but better coiffed

While not busy challenging Phil Spector for most disgustingly re-inventive hair styles, Sanjaya Malakar likes destroying classic 1960s British Invasion tunes and bringing young girls to tears. Like my otra defeatist brothers, I am quick to malign the pseudo-democratic saccharine factory that is American Idol. But then I read this article which brought me renewed hope for the future...

The question tantalizes and terrorizes American Idol viewers: What if Sanjaya wins?... In the short run, his presence makes for spirited debate, but if Sanjaya Malakar, 17, is standing in the winner's circle, "it would destroy credibility the show's built up in the past five seasons," music consultant Tom Vickers says. "Instead of 30 million viewers a week, it might draw 20 million." A Sanjaya victory "will ruin the show," says fan Catherine Schloss of Folsom, Calif. "If he wins, I really don't think American Idol will be back."

That's it - a vote for Sanjaya is the only way to jam the system. Then again, a vote for Sanjaya could backfire and actually bring more attention and popularity to an already overhyped teevee show. Oh well, the five seconds of glee I gathered from the article was enough to get me through the rest of the day.

In other news, Pope BennieTheDick asserted that hell "really exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more". Yeah, I was wondering about that hell thing - glad he cleared that up for us. I hope they serve beer there.

x-posted at the defeatists!

Rehab Revolution

If you gotta problem yo I'll solve it!

Me wonders if the following mofos would have ever considered "rehab" as an option if their trials and tribulations did not become public knowledge.

1. Mel Gibson - attended rehab after a drunken anti-Semitic and misogynistic outburst toward Malibu police in an attempt to salvage his image prior to the release of Apocalypto. Apparently, it worked.
2. Ted Haggard - received spiritual restoration to "cure" his meth addiction and homosexuality. Praise Jebus, teh gay be gone!
3. Michael Richards - began psychiatric counseling to manage anger and try to understand why he hates African Americans.
4. Isaiah Washington - attended psychological counseling to try to understand why he hates homosexuals.
5. Lindsay Lohan - attending rehab for alcohol, drugs and bulimia while indulging in alcohol, drugs and  stomach purging  on the weekends.
6. Gavin Newsom - will attend alcohol counseling after admitting to banging his campaign adviser's wife. What an idiot - as if there aren't enough hot, young single women in SF for him to chase.
7. Paris Hilton - will probably attend rehab to understand why she hates African Americans and homosexuals. One can only hope she experiences some swift aversion therapy. Hell, it worked for Alex de Large.

So, whether you suffer from homophobia, racism or adultery, just blame it on alcohol and admit that rehab is the solution for you! Unfortunately, one has yet to develop a rehab center for war-addicted neocons...

~ Comandante Agí

Worst Product Ever, Part MCLXVIIIIII

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, in response to Majikthise's claim that Doggie Steps were the worst product ever, we offered up the Bumper Dumper.  This morning on Car Talk, both of these worthy candidates were blown out of the water.

Scented tires.

Car Talk co-host Ray Magliozzi owns a garage and wondered why they chose lavender and other florals - he would prefer burning oil so that, when his customers came in and complained, he could sell them a rear main seal they didn't need.

Our civilization continues to decline ... rapidly.

Worst Product Ever?

Two days ago, Majikthise said she'd found the worst product ever: Doggie Steps.

This might be worse.

Whither civilization?

tags: doggie steps bumper dumper decline of civilization

Blog Against Racism Day

It's blog against racism day. Here in the Big Apple, in honor of Rosa Parks, the buses will have their lights on all day and the seat directly behind the driver will remain empty. Yes, even New Yorkers are expected to comply.

Just when our hate for the MTA reaches its peak, they do something like this or the holiday fares.

tags: blog against racism day rosa parks metropolitan transit authority new york city