Agitprop: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Propaganda

What the fuck does Osama Bin Laden have to do with anything?! What the fuck are you talking about?!

Remember Ward Churchill? The marginalized and discredited college professor, who when asked what it would take to motivate people to stand up in protest of the Iraq war, replied:

I don’t have a ready answer for that. One of the things I’ve suggested is that it may be that more 9/11s are necessary.

The FOX News analog for marginalized and discredited college professor Ward Churchill, is former CIA Bin Laden Chief Michael Scheuer, who when asked what it will take to motivate people to stand up in protest of illegal immigration, replied:

The only chance we have as a country right now is for Osama bin Laden to deploy and detonate a major weapon in the United States.

The pwogs are beside themselves. This fellow dares us to, "Imagine what would happen if someone on the left had said this." Ward Churchill would prolly tell ya.

The Soup That Will Destroy The World

pictured above: Sopón de Garbanzos con Patas de Cerdo (a.k.a. Chickpea Soup with Pig's Feet, a.k.a. The GOP's worst nightmare)

This has prompted some Republicans to muse privately about whether Sotomayor is suggesting that distinctive Puerto Rican cuisine such as patitas de cerdo con garbanzo — pigs’ feet with chickpeas — would somehow, in some small way influence her verdicts from the bench.

Curt Levey, the executive director of the Committee for Justice, a conservative-leaning advocacy group, said he wasn’t certain whether Sotomayor had claimed her palate would color her view of legal facts but he said that President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee clearly touts her subjective approach to the law.  

Huh? Is he really insinuating that Puerto Rican food is going to have undue influence over her judicial decisions? Damn, with two pasta-eaters on the court, there is no telling how many devious bowls of fettuccine have swayed the decisions of Alito and Scalia.

Not only is "Maria" Sotomayor forcing us to assimilate "unnatural" syllables into our daily spoken language - but a war criminal tells us that she will kill us with empathic mediocrity. I know I said I would try to avoid this stuff, but it's all so desperate - and hilarious.

The Inaugural Most Overpaid, Useless Op-Ed Columnist on the Planet Contest

Mick Arran of Factesque and Arran's Alley recently wrote that David Brooks is the most overpaid conservative wingnut warrior masquerading as a centrist columnist.

While I do find Dr. Bobo-in-Paradise to be an utter dolt, I commented that Thomas Friedman is the most overpaid, useless op-ed columnist on the planet. I find his pie in the sky dreamcasting and computerized column-spouting to be utterly ludicrous.

Mick rejoined that we throw the vote to the floor.

So, there you have it. Tom or David. Who is the most overpaid, useless op-ed columnist on the planet? Other suggestions are welcome, but do give us your opinion on these two New York Times bigwigs.

Running on Empty

A teabagger’s fax to members of Congress.

At least they spelled "Geithner" correctly. Still, I think it’s time for a full psych workup.

pwned

Ann Coulter - media whore, plagiarist, and now a complete fool:

In her April 1 column, Ann Coulter fell for a fake April Fools’ Day article by Car and Driver magazine that claimed that President Obama has ordered General Motors and Chrysler to cease their participation in NASCAR because it is an “unnecessary expenditure.” Coulter wrote, “If Obama can tell GM and Chrysler that their participation in NASCAR is an ‘unnecessary expenditure,’ isn’t having public schools force students to follow Muslim rituals, recite Islamic prayers and plan ‘jihads’ also an ‘unnecessary expenditure’?”

Not quite sure where she’s headed with that, but you can head over to Human Events and read … oh wait, you can’t.  I was wrong - the column has not been rewritten.